IHMFB : EIGHTEEN

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Soobin felt the crack from the base of his heart right to the very tip, reaching upwards and suffocating his lungs, neck, and tightening his ribcage until he couldn't breath. All he knows is that— it fucking hurts.

Fuck feelings, indeed.

When Yeonjun slammed the door shut right in front of Soobin's face, he felt like his whole world shattered.

Why does Yeonjun mean the world to him? When in fact, Soobin is nothing but a toy to fuck and forget?

'You're not that special to think Yeonjun would fall for you, dumbass' Soobin thought.

Would it be weird if Soobin thinks Yeonjun speaks the main point? They both agreed to be fuck buddies in the very first place— where feelings, attachments, care, and definitely falling in love, is... non existent? Was it Soobin's fault why he falls in love?

Yeonjun was right, but why does it feel so wrong?

This is the problem with getting attached to someone— when they leave you, you just feel lost.

Soobin is now nothing but a meaningless particles scrambling around in hopes to reunite with a help of love... love from Yeonjun, and Yeonjun only.

After Yeonjun slammed the door shut, Soobin turned around, feeling the emptiness caving into him that he hadn't felt for a long time.

He reached his room and opened the door, he sucked in a sharp breath when he saw Beomgyu with Huening and San in their room.

"Hey, Bin! We're just practicing science, don't mind us." Huening smiled, and Soobin just nodded.

Beomgyu looked at him worriedly, and got up to walk over to him, "Hey? You good?" Beomgyu whispered, ensuring the other two boys didn't hear him.

Soobin turned his head to look at his desk, cleaning it up mindlessly, "I'm f-fine."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing. It is o-over between us." Soobin said, words sour on his tongue.

"What?!" Beomgyu let out, making Huening and San rose their heads.

"What happened?" San asked, and Beomgyu waved his hand at them.

"Nothing! We're discussing this new movie that came out-" Beomgyu stammered, and then turned his head to face Soobin, "What do you mean it's over?"

"It never even started, so I honestly don't care."

"Are you sure?" Beomgyu asked, and Soobin chuckled, giving him a bright smile.

"Of course, Gyu! Come on, let me practice some science with you guys." Soobin said, walking over to Huening and San.

Beomgyu just sighed, because he knew. He knew Soobin wasn't fine. He knew, because Soobin smiled for the rest of the day, laughed and talked more than usual. Way too 'fine'.

He knew, because later Soobin went to sleep, and at 1:30 am, Beomgyu awoke to the sound of soft crying. Beomgyu rose his head, and saw Soobin turned the other way, shoulders quivering as he had his blanket scrunched tightly in his hold.

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