Chapter 41

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RECAP (Or A New Part, Depending On How Wattpad Is Working)

My only choice was to bury my guilt, and just as I had decided to move past that mistake, my phone vibrated and a message flashed on my screen.

Come to the Darul Uloom now. We need to talk.

And the message was from none other than Danyaal.

MAARIAH'S POV

Danyaal had insisted that I go to a doctor to see if I was actually pregnant, or if there was a mistake with the pregnancy test. He said that as soon as we had confirmed the pregnancy, he would call Nabeel, otherwise it would be an unnecessary false alarm.

The hope that I had buried beneath the surface began to bubble up inside of me. Maybe I wasn't pregnant. Maybe this was all a terrible nightmare that I could wake up from any moment now.

Yet deep down I knew that I was pregnant. Already I could feel the signs of a little child growing inside of me. I could feel my insides shift. It was still a little too early to feel the baby kick or his heartbeat, but I knew that I was carrying a living human inside of me. It was magical and scary at the same time. More scary than magical, however, because all I wanted to do was get rid of that monster I had created with my sins.

I had been quite apprehensive about going to an actual gynaecologist. It was, first of all, really expensive, and I couldn't afford it at the moment. My parents had already spent so much on my teaching degree and not to mention, the presents for Husna's wedding.

The thought of Husna's wedding and how I had just ruined my best friend's first night made my inside churn so badly that I threw up. Luckily, I was close to the bathroom because I was expecting this, and most of it ended up where it belonged. It wasn't the guilt, I knew, but the expected morning sickness. With every day I was dreading this pregnancy more and more.

Danyaal insisted that he would drive me to the doctor. He said that he would sign as my guardian as he was older than me. We were to play a game of masks and "mother-father." He was my step in father. My husband, well, we would leave that blank on the document. Still, I had a caretaker and that's all that mattered to the doctors. We would ask for the information to be kept confidential, although we knew that it would be. No hospital discloses their patients' issues without their consent.

In the doctor's room, I was made to lie on a bed while the doctor applied cold gel onto my lower abdomen and pressed a scanning machine onto it. She politely asked Danyaal if he wanted to see his wife's report, to which Danyaal shook his head vigorously and looked so embarrassed, I wanted to laugh, despite my predicament.

However, after Danyaal became accustomed to the situation (he stood nervously in the corner, inspecting the peeling posters that suddenly seemed so interesting), he walked over to my bed and looked at the scan on the screen. I still hadn't dared to look at it.

"You can look at it now, ma'am. The results are on the screen," she laughed.

Danyaal's fingers traced the scan. He seemed engrossed in the blurry grey figure on the screen.

"Danyaal, I'm not pregnant! Look! The scan is clear. The grey is just my fat. Look!" I giggled.

Danyaal shook his head. "How is it that I'm a guy and know more about this than you do? Don't you learn this at school? You're pregnant Maariah. And that baby, Yallah, has got to be the cutest thing I've ever seen."

I stared at him, confused. "Oh," was all I managed to say. Why was I pregnant? Why me?

It also seemed strange that Danyaal thought that the grey blur was something to be admired. It just looked like a smudge that deserved all my hate to me.

"I'm going to talk to Nabeel now," he said, and beckoned for me to follow.

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