Losing Kim Taehyung

forty-five // finale

"A house made of cards, and us inside
Even if you see the end, even if you say it'll collapse soon
A house made of cards, and stupidly, us
Even if you say it's a useless dream,
just stay a little more like this"

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1 year later

"Areum, hurry up! We'll be late," I heard mom announced from the living room. Looking at my reflection on the mirror, I fixed the collar of my blouse and also my ribbon tie before running downstairs.

When I got downstairs, mom wasn't there anymore so I hurriedly made my way out of the house and saw her and the car out of the front gates.

I run towards her and before we got inside the car. She took a step closer to me, brushing the invisible dust on my shoulders and even fixed my hair. "Beautiful. Now, let's go," She said, smiling and we both got inside the car.

Since early this morning, my mom couldn't stop smiling and feeling excited for me. She was even the one who curled my hair and put a light make-up on my face when I insisted in doing it to myself. When mom started driving, she hummed a cheerful tune, making me smile as well to see her happy for me. Today was actually our graduation day, where we will finally end all the high school drama and only treasure good memories as we prepare for a new chapter in our life—college. When I used to think of this day before back when I was a freshman, I couldn't wait to graduate. I was waiting for this day with so much excitement and anticipation in me. And now that this day finally came, why am I not happy and excited like I used to?

I glanced at the digital clock next to the car radio and noticed that we were a bit late already. My mom then stepped down on the gas, making the car a bit faster than before but not fast enough to violate traffic rules. As she sped up, mom started talking and I tried understanding every word she was saying, but all of it just turned into background noises as my mind was now occupied as of the moment. I looked at the places throughout the window, and for a second, I wanted to stop the car. I wanted to stop time. I wanted to stop everything. My eyes landed on a certain place after, and I quickly turned to my mom and begged her to stop the car.

She startled and looked at me surprisingly, "Why, what's wrong? We're already five minutes late, baby."

Still, she didn't stop driving and quickly glancing between me and the road. "I have to see Taehyung today, mom."

When she heard what I said, she forcefully stopped the car, making me almost hit the dashboard in front if it wasn't for my seatbelt holding me back. She turned to me problematically, rubbing her forehead in a distressed manner and trying her best not to get mad at me. "Can you visit him some other time? It's your graduation ceremony today. You can't miss that,"

"I'll be quick, mom. I promise,"

"Then, I'll wait for—"

"No," I swiftly cut her off. "You can go ahead. . . I'll go after."

"Areum. . ." She called once again. Her voice sounded like they were giving up or something, but then I already unbuckled my seatbelt. I mouthed an 'I'm sorry' to her before climbing off the car.

I run towards the memorial cemetery and got inside, looking for Taehyung's grave. I walked around the place and once I found it, someone was already there. I was a bit surprised to see a man visiting Taehyung or probably Jungkook. With my brows slightly furrowed, I slowly walked up to him. "Uhm, excu—" My voice came out so small that I stopped talking for a second. I cleared my throat first before gathering my courage to speak again. "Uhm, hey?"