Spencer Reid One Shots

Not My Season

“You want me…. to come….” Spencer’s words trailed off, unsure he’d heard his best correctly the first time around.

“To the abortion clinic. Tomorrow.” Y/N was sullen, seeing the shock on his face had made it all seem real. The judgement she was so scared of facing briefly crossing his face before he managed to check it. She’d been planning on going alone until an hour ago when she’d been reading support forums. They all said the same thing, the same thing the nurse and the counsellor had told her at her first appointment. To bring someone for support if she could. So she’d turned to her best friend, turned up on his doorstep with a request, blurting it out before she lost the nerve.

“Who’s…. Who’s….” again his words trailed off, making her completely regret this.

“Forrester’s,” she replied naming an agent from the New York office that up until recently she’d been seeing. She expected the next question before it even left his mouth.

“Does he know?”

“No,” Y/N shook her head, watching Spencer’s expression change again. “And even if he did, it wouldn’t change my decision.”

“Y/N, that’s someone else’s child inside your body. You can’t just….” he stopped, suddenly seeming to realise how he sounded. And she got it, she understood. She knew Spencer wanted children of his own but didn’t think he’d ever be in a position to be able to have them. She knew what he was thinking right now but she’d hoped that he’d have been able to push that aside to be able to support her.

“Spencer I can. And I’m going to. Not because I hate Forrester for breaking up with me or anything like that. This isn’t to spite him. I just can’t do this right now.”

“I could help you!” He looked at her with a gleam of hope in his eyes, almost pleading with her to change her mind. “I could support you. We spend enough time together and I know we’d make great….”

“No!” Y/N interrupted his desperate flow of words. “I know that I’d have all the support in the world but I just don’t want this. The timing isn’t right for me. I don’t want to take a break from my career, I don’t want to give up everything I’ve been working towards. This is isn’t a snap decision for the me. I’ve thought long and hard and considered all my options. This is my body, it’s my life and it’s my choice. I want kids Spencer, some day. But not now. It’s not what I want.”

“But… ”

“If I had a child right now, I’d love it yes. I’d take care of it and I’m sure I’d be a great mom. But there would always be that part of me that resented it. Because this isn’t right for me now. I don’t want to bring a child into this world that isn’t 100 percent wanted. So please don’t make me feel guilty about my decision. I came over tonight because I was hoping for support tomorrow. Not judgement, not you trying to change my mind. Because it can’t be changed. You’re my best friend and I need you right now. Will you come with me?”

She looked at him, her resolve set. And then in the tiniest flicker of his eyes she saw that his was too.

“Y/N… I can’t. I don’t think you should do this.”

With a sad expression on her face she nodded, turning on her heels and leaving his apartment.

…

She hated this. From the moment she’d walked through the door she just wanted to leave.

Not because she was changing her mind or regretting her decision, but because of the almost accusing looks she received from the other women in the waiting room. So much for sisterhood.

She couldn’t understand it at first, they were all here for the same reason. And then when the next woman entered the room, giving her name at the desk, Y/N suddenly did understand it completely. Because she stared too. It was inane curiosity, simply wondering what had bought them to this room. What had made someone consider this option?

Y/N knew her own reasons, her own story. But she knew that like every other woman in this room she was questioning what the others story was too. Was it something horrifically tragic? Were they just not ready? Were they going to be one of the percentage of people that climbed up onto the bed, and then ran kicking and screaming from the room, being unable to go to through with it and resigning themselves to a different fate.

The door opened again and everyone looked to see who the new arrival was, perhaps to start mentally making up a back story for this new person, to maybe try to make themselves feel better about their predicament. Or maybe to just distract themselves.

It wasn’t a woman this time, it was a man. An extremely tired looking man with ridiculously messy hair. He scanned the waiting room spotting her immediately and making his way over, and despite herself, Y/N smiled.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Spencer said as he reached her. She patted the plastic chair next to her and he slid into it.

“It’s okay,” she told him.

“I was stupid, and judgemental. And literally the worst friend ever. Everything you said was right and I was so very….. ”

“Spencer, it’s okay.” Because it was, it really was. He was here now and that was what mattered. He had come through for her.