Sing To Me While I'm Dying

Chapter Four

I held mom's hand as she struggled to breath. I got up to get a nurse, but she held onto me. "You know it's my time Vie, you know!" she yelled.

"No mom, it's not!" I yelled back. Her face morphed into one who is extremely old and her hair silvery gray.

"This will never happen Vie, I am dying today." she said as her breathing stopped and she slowly slipped away. After she died her face morphed back into the beautiful young women I know and love. Or loved.

I woke up gasping. This was one of the most graphic dream of mom's death I had ever had. I looked at the clock and saw it said six thirty. I might actually be on time today. I got ready and walked to the bus stop. When the bus pulled up to school I saw several people milling around outside. A few people gave me wary glances. Everyone knew I had gone off the deep end and was going crazy, they just didn't know why. And I didn't want them to. Mom was dying and she didn't need anyone's pity who didn't really care. I walked through the front door and to my locker.

"You're on time today." I heard a voice say from behind me. I turned and saw Jasper smiling at me. I smiled and started waking to my locker. I wasn't extremely short, but being next to Jasper made anyone look short. I got to my locker and opened it quickly. I put away some of my books that I didn't need until later and got out the books I need before lunch. "Vie, what happened last night?" he asked quietly leaning against the locker next to mine.

"Something that is none of your business." I said shortly and closed my locker and walked away. I heard him sigh and he caught up to me walking next to me.

"I'm sorry I asked, it isn't any of my business." I didn't answer I just kept walking. "I have to get to my first period class." he said walking away. I sighed and walked in the first class of my day, social studies. My day passed quickly and before I knew it, it was the end of the day. I walked to my locker, dodging kids running around the hallway. Today was Friday so they had a right to feel excited I, however, did not. I had to apologize to my mother for acting so horrendously and spend my weekend alone, as usual. I also had to look for a job, I was running out of food, and money. I hadn't found anywhere that had a job open. I sighed and closed my locker. I started to walk away when I heard someone call my name.

"Vie," I turned and saw Leo walking towards me. "Do you need a ride?" he asked.

"Sure, why not." I said following him to Jasper's car. "Um, do you know anywhere there's a job open. I'm kind of looking for one with no success." I asked him on the way to the car.

"My dad's restaurant is looking for a job, I'm sure if I asked him he would give it to you."

"Thanks, do you mind asking him?"

"Not at all, but don't you have the hospital you volunteer at though? How will you do that and have a job?" he asked and I felt a pang of sadness in my chest.

"That's ending soon." I whispered letting my hair fall in front of my face.

"Oh, are you going to the hospital again today?" he asked.

"I am," I answered.

"When does the volunteer job end?"

"The date isn't really set in stone yet." I said, my face still hidden a tear falling down my face. He got to the car and he opened the door for me. I slid in the seat and saw Jasper was sitting in the driver's seat and Leo sat in the passenger's seat. "Where's George?" I asked.

"Football practice." Jasper answered pulling out of the parking space.

I looked down at my lap trying to hold in my tears. I felt so guilty for what I did to mom.

"What do you have planed for this weekend?" Leo asked.

"Nothing actually, I have to...see my family, but that's not until Sunday." I said hesitating when I said I had to see my family.

"Do you want to come over tomorrow, we have to work on the project." Leo asked.

"But your not in our group." I said looking at Leo. Who laughed. "What?" I asked.

"Do you ever pay attention in class?" he asked still laughing.

"Sometimes." I said.

"Marc, my partner, moved, so I was moved into your group." he said still smiling at my confusion.

"Oh," I said stupidly.

"Can I have your number, so I can call you?" Leo asked. I nodded and gave him my number. I was using my mom's phone, it was old and not very good, but it was the best I could afford.

"Here we are," Jasper said pulling up to the hospital. "Do you need a ride home?" he asked. I shook my head.

'I'm not sure when my...shift ends." I said. They nodded.

"Goodnight see you tomorrow." I nodded and got out of the car. I walked into the hospital and walked into mom's room. I knocked to the open door and peeked my head in. "Hi mom." I whispered.

"Hi Vie." she whispered back. Her eyes looked sunken in and she looked so pale. She looked so tired and so...dead.

"How are you feeling?" I whispered trying to keep my voice from shaking.

"Better." she said.

"Mommy," I said as the first few tears streamed down my face. I walked over to her and collapsed on the floor next to her bed.

"Baby, don't cry," she said softly stroking my hair. She started to sing softly to me, "There's a sun shining through the clouds, there's a smile behind my frown, no matter where I am, I'll always be here with you, I'll be there to wipe away your tears to chase away your fears, I might feel so far away, but I'll always be with you, cause there's a bright sun shining through your frown, so lay down, rest now, rest forever, my dear, my dear, lay down I wipe away your tear, I chase away your fears for now, so lay down rest forever, rest now, my dear, my dear." Her voice was soft and weak, but still beautiful.

"Mommy," I whimpered. "I need you." I whispered.

"I know baby, I know." she looked so tired. "I need you to promise me something." I nodded and she went on, "No matter what happens, promise me, you will stay strong, and you will carry on. Don't give up and make me proud, baby." she said looking at me.

"I promise mom." I said. "I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too, my little Vie." she said. I saw a tear stream down her face, but she quickly wiped it away. "Stay strong for me baby, stay strong." her eyes closed and I gasped thinking she passed, but the steady beeping of the heart monitor told me she was just asleep. I picked myself up off the floor and started to walk to the bus station. I wiped away the tears on my cheeks. I sat on the bench started to hum my mom's song.

"I can't be as strong as you are mom." I whispered to myself.