Finding myself

Chapter 21

Blaze POV

"Jem just listen to me. It was the mate bond acting. I had no part in it... personally."

I said thumping on the locked door of our bedroom.

"Jem, please, believe me, sweetheart. I am telling the truth." I said

"You promised" she sobbed and it broke my heart to hear the hurt in her voice.

How could I do this? Damn the mate bond and damn everything that came with it. Damn ZARA!

"YOU THINK IT WAS EASY FOR ME TO RESIST JASON? I STILL DO IT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, YOU IDIOT!" She shouted.

I cringed, she is right. If she can do it why can't I?

I almost killed Jason when he claimed Jem in front of the whole school. How dare he? The memory still had my blood boiling. I wanted to kill him. But I didn't. I wanted to banish him. But his family was very loyal to the pack.

Banishing him would mean the loss of good pack members. But I would do it if he tried to take Jem away from me one more time. He's been warned.

I could completely understand what Jem felt because of this.

But why was the pull so strong? Even more, than it was the years before?

Because I haven't seen her for years. Because she has changed a lot. Because she is so breathtakingly beautiful that I thought that I would kiss her then and there. Because of those eyes, those beautiful golden eyes that held me captured in them... wait, what am I thinking?

I growled and pinched my nose at the ideas my wolf was planting in my head. This was the first time he has responded to me in the last 3 years. Damn Zara for coming between my wolf and I. I hate her, even more, every passing second. And the more I hate her and convince myself I don't want her, the more I do want her! How sick is that?

I am sure this is some kind of twisted game she is playing.

"Jem, love. Listen to me. I don't want her ok? I hate her! I hate what she does to my wolf. And I love you from the bottom of my heart. I always have and that isn't going to change just because my one and only mate returned." I snarled.

"I want you Jem. I want you, only you." I whispered sinking to my knees against the door.

It hasn't been even 2 hours since she arrived and look at all the problems she is causing. I don't think I will ever say it enough, but I hate her. I hate Zara... Dammit! I still don't know her full name. Whatever. I can't care less.

I heard her coming closer to the door, and I leaned back and looked up as her tear-stained face came into view. It broke my heart to see her like this. I wanted to protect her. I wanted to put her in a safe bubble away from all the pain. I hated myself for the pain I have caused her. She was the one light in my life.

"I love you, Jemima Monroe..." I whispered and she kneeled down hugging me and sobbing into my neck.

"Promise me you will never leave me! Promise me that you won't ever let me go, " she said. I wouldn't dream of it.

"I promise," I said, picking her up and walking into the room. I kicked the door close and set her down on the bed.

I kissed her delicately on the lips as her eyes fluttered close.

She was always so sleepy and tired after I marked her. It is one of the reasons I didn't want to keep marking her all the time. It was tiresome for her. I didn't even want to think of what would happen if I mated with her.