Unfortunate Events

Event Four: Miserable Mill

Hermione strode down the hallways of the Ministry, attempting to balance her files and cup of coffee on top of her briefcase. Considering she was wearing a new pair of heels that were two inches higher than her usual flats, she was quite pleased with herself.

However, her satisfaction was slightly tempered by the odd looks and whispers that followed her as she walked towards her office. Nothing new, nothing she couldn't handle. She was just about to push the door open with her hip when she noticed an issue of that day's Daily Prophet crawling up her door.

"What?!"

Hermione dropped her briefcase, scattering her files all over the floor and spilling coffee down the front of her shirt. Yanking the paper down, she retreated into her office, slamming the door behind her.

Her eyes scanned the page once more, transfixed in horror.

Disgraced Pureblood Prince and Potter's Princess Make Magic Together

An exclusive by guest writer Rita Skeeter

With a bang, Hermione collapsed against her office door too engrossed by the train wreck of an article to think of the coffee stain setting into her shirt. There was a picture of her leaning into Malfoy as he handed her a glass of firewhisky. Their fingers brushed against each other, and she was smiling up at him like a lovesick fool. But that was nowhere near as bad as the other photograph. Malfoy was running his fingers up and down the length of her arm while she did nothing but giggle.

And it only got worse.

"Much as the two attempted to hide their forbidden relationship, it was evident to all in attendance that Miss Granger was quite smitten with Mr. Malfoy, who the Prophet has on high authority is her first boyfriend."

And

"Even Miss Granger's friends seem to approve of the match. The Golden Trio were overheard discussing the possibility of a future marriage, and at one point in the conversation, it was clearly heard, "Draco, let me have your blond, Slytherin babies." While we cannot confirm who actually said this, given that both Ron Weasley and Harry Potter are in committed relationships with Lavender Brown and Ginny Weasley, respectively, it seems reasonable to conclude Miss Granger is hoping to provide a few new additions to this historic house."

And

"While Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy could not be reached for comment, they will most likely look favorably on this new development. According to today's Daily Prophet poll, their approval rating is at thirty-seven percent, up from last week's twenty-one percent result. As the Malfoy family seeks to reclaim their status in a post-Voldemort world, their son's clandestine coupling with Miss Granger could not have come at a more opportune time. If recent poll results are to be believed, a Malfoy-Granger union would go a long way in helping the public forget this ancient family's past misdeeds. See page three for the related article on Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger's possible wedding plans."

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!" Hermione groaned, starting to sink to the floor.

"And here I thought you'd be excited that we no longer have to hide our amor."

Hermione jumped in the air, heart straining out of her chest. Lowering the paper, she glared at the intruder, who happened to be sitting in her seat with his feet propped up on her desk.

"How did you get in here?!" she gasped, still waiting for her heart to recover.

"The door was open. I walked in."