Positive?!

[12]

Mark:

I was laying in my bed, tears of disappointment and pain were still running down my cheeks. The power to brush them away was gone before it had the chance to appear. I felt so alone right now.

I shouldn't even be sad or disappointed. It was Jackson and he had reacted like I had expected. Actually, I should be happy that he didn't yell or abuse me. He had been pretty calm.

But it still hurt a lot. A small part of me had hoped that he would at least tell me that he would be there when the baby was born. It wasn't necessary that he took care of me now, I just wanted him to be there for our child.

I felt so sorry for my little boy or girl. They would have to grow up without a father. All the other children would happily have both of their parents who took care of them and my baby just had me.

Jackson had said I could have money from him if I wanted to and I knew that the baby would need it sooner or later. I felt bad for taking Jackson's money but I couldn't go to work with the baby and my parents didn't even know.

I planned to tell them in one or two days. At the moment, I just wanted to calm down a bit because the talk with Jackson had already been enough for today and I only wanted to sleep and maybe eat something.

My eyes looked around in my room and I imagined where I could place the bed for the baby and all the other stuff they would need. We also had a guest room but I didn't know if I would be allowed to use it.

I had enough time to think about everything but I still felt a lot of pressure. There were a lot of decisions I had to make. Some were quite simple but some were serious and it was important to think about it carefully.

During the last days, I had looked through the Internet to see how other young people had dealed with their teen pregnancies. Some stories had scared me but others had also given me hope for my own life.

There were a lot of other possibilities to get support with the baby. I actually didn't need Jackson. But honestly... I wanted him to support me and I wanted him to be there for our child. He was the father.

I quickly shook my head to get this thoughts out of my head. Why should I think about Jackson or wish that he would be there if I I knew that people never changed? He would stay the idiot he was.

A knock made me look to my door. "Come in." I said, expecting either my mom or Jinyoung. The door opened and surprisingly my younger brother Joey entered the room. I didn't expect it to be him.

Normally, he never came over unless he really needed something. But this time he didn't seem to want anything from me. He had a cup of tea in his hands and gave it to me with a little smile before he sat on the bed.

"You seem to need it." He said and I mumbled a little "Thanks" before I drank some tea and closed my eyes for a moment. Joey seemed to feel that something was wrong with me during the last time.

"You looked very upset when you came home. Is it because of the rumors of you and this Wang boy?" He asked. My brother attended my school since the beginning of the year and it didn't surprise me that he had heard it.

After Jinyoung and I had convinced the people that I had never tried to seduce Jackson, the rumor about us having sex came back the day after the blonde male had beaten me up in front of everyone.

"It's complicated." I sighed and stared at the cup in my hands. It didn't seem to be a good idea to tell my brother that the rumors were true and that I was also having Jackson's child in some months.

Joey looked at me and I got the feeling that he knew it was true. "It's true, right?" He asked carefully and I nodded. "I've already expected that. The way you're reacting when someone asks you about it is pretty obvious." He explained.

If he thought it was obvious, others might have noticed it, too. But it was ok. I didn't care anymore if anyone knew about me and Jackson. It happened and no one could change it, so why should I make a drama?

I knew that the younger didn't want anyone to know about it but in the end, everyone would know when my baby belly would be visible. I was pretty thin and had already started showing a little bit.

So it wouldn't take very long until it was obvious that I wasn't simply gaining weight. A part of me was about to tell Joey about it but I decided against it for now. My brother was only 14 and I shouldn't tell him such a big thing before my parents.

"Don't worry. I'm not judging you. I guess Jackson Wang is quite hot if you like men." Joey gave me a little smirke and I softly hit his arm. It wasn't a secret that I was gay but I didn't want to talk about hot guys with my younger brother.

I was happy that the younger understood me in some kind of way. Of course, I didn't have sex with Jackson because he was hot but at least my brother wasn't disgusted about the situation.

But I knew that he could start judging me when I told me that I was having a baby. And I didn't know when Joey and I would talk like this again so I took the opportunity and gave my brother a long hug.

—

And here we go again! I'm really sorry for being lazy!

Anyways, aside from working on this one I've also chosen to work on new projects on here.

I'm currently working on a Seungwooseok (Seunseok? Seuncat?) Au and I think about uploading it here once I finished it.

I'll also make sure that I update at least twice a week because this has a ton of chapters and I really want to finish this soon.

Thank you for reading 🖤