Chapter Ten

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Jaylyn's POV

-one week later-

Alright, I think to myself as I look at the newspaper in front of me, teacher? No, dog walker? Nah, too much poop. Waiter? Possibly. Secretary? God no. Therapist? Nope.  Ok waiter it is.

I look up the number for Frozen Freezies. It's a restaurant that people only really go to for ice cream. The Rippers Deluxe is the best seller.

I type the number into the phone I just bought and hit dial. Luckily I'm in the library so I don't have to worry about anyone disturbing me.

"Hello thank you for calling Frozen Freezies, this is Matt, how can I help you?" A young voice answers the phone.

"Um, yeah," I clear my throat. "My name is Jaylyn, I'm calling for the waitering job - if it's still available that is."

"Yes, yes if course it still - hold on a sec." I hear shuffling then mumbling. "Ok, sorry about that. If you come by tomorrow you can pick up a resume and fill it out."

"Ok, thank you. Have a nice day." He says bye and I hang up and lay back on the couch.

Ok, if I run I can get to the restaurant, pick up a resume, run to the doctors and fill it out there then drop it back off after my doctors appointment. Perfect. I chew on my lip as I remember that the restaurant and the doctors office are on opposite sides of the city. I sigh and sit back up.

Shoot, I have to do chores!

I scramble up and head to the kitchen to start sweeping. I sweep the kitchen, living room, bathroom and dining room then mop them all in an hour and a half, give or take. I dust and wipe down basically any flat surface. After I'm done I put everything away and sit down on the couch with a relieved sigh.

"Haha yeah, but day-yum that ice cream worker was such a cutie." Silas says as they open the front door.

I quickly get up and scramble out of the room. I head down the hallway that leads to the pool room, the mirror room and the outdoor tennis court. I head into the pool room. I sit on one of the lounge chairs. I don't really worry about the boys coming here either because we have another bigger pool room with three hot tubs and one huge pool. The hot tubs are inside the pool. It's pretty cool but the boys prefer that one so I tend to stick here when I need time away or want to go for a swim. Today, though, I just need to think. And boy do I. I think about everything.

School. College. The boys. The boys coming out. Them creating one big bedroom. My lung and heart issue. The fact I have a high chance of not surviving more then two years at the most. Me getting a job. Just life in general.

One thing that I had slightly prouded myself in was that I hadn't cried about it. Not once. No matter how badly I wanted to sometimes. I didn't. It's like it hasn't hit yet. But seeing them so happy, everyone, in fact, around me is happy...but me. I hear faint yelling from the boys as they messed around somewhere in the house. It was then that it hit me.

I was probably never going be like that with my brothers. Never was I going to feel important or like I deserved to live.

The first tear dropped.

Never was I going to feel the warm comforting touch of a parent figure. Or the love of a family. The secret smiles of a lover.

Another fell.

I will never have a house with the white picket fence. Or huge Great Dane named Baxter. Or the kids littering all over the house. From all over the world.

More fell.

Never could I actually finish college probably not ever start it. Never could I have a small kitty named Whiskers or Camo. Or a Range Rover or a jeep or any other car for that matter.

The tears are soon blocking my vision.

I have nothing to look forward to. No matter how much Doctor Richard tried to get me to believe. I've lost all hope.

Have for years.

Soon I can't even breathe from trying to hold back the sobs since the walls aren't very thick.

I fall back onto the lounge chair and close my eyes. I take a few deep breathes and try to stop crying. I try and think happy thoughts.

Just think, Jaylyn, at least soon you're brothers won't have to worry about you any more. A bittersweet thought but nonetheless stops the tears. Why? Simple, all I've ever wanted was for my family to be happy. Even if they hate me, I still love them.

I take one more deep breathe and let it put before wiping my face and standing up. I walk out of the pool room, my break down in the dark recesses of my mind. I walk to the kitchen and am shocked to find my brothers in there with my parents, laughing and talking.

"Oh, Jaylyn," My mothers sickly sweet voices wavers over to me and I shiver in disgust. "Would you like to join us." She gives me her famous "say yes and I'll cut your tongue out" smiles.

"No, I'm just gonna...yeah." I point over my shoulder blindly.

"Oh, ok." She smiles again, only this on a genuine towards her favorite children.

I turn around and head for the door. I guess I'll take a walk. What's the worst that could happen? I'll get kidnapped? Maybe then I'd know I wasn't completely invisible.

I open the door and walk outside. The long ass drive way that never ends, seem short as I speed walk away from the house. I whistle the further I get away from there., my mood brightens a little and I feel...okay. Knowing I'm not going to school to get beat by kids twice my size or home where I'm ignored. Just following where the road takes me. I walk past the ground gates of my house and continue walking on to the Main Street. Time for an adventure.

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