to all the glowing eyes ✎ joshler

october 17

will;

why do people leave?

so many amazing people leave just out of nowhere. mostly they leave things they love to do.

an artist stops painting, a photographer stops adding pictures to their portfolio, a dancer stops making new routines, a singer stops composing songs, an author stops writing their next novel... but why?

did their work drive them crazy?

did it make them overwork themselves until they can't even look at their work anymore?

i wonder if it's because of the pressure they feel.

maybe they just don't want to keep doing something they feel obligated to do where there is no more remaining passion for it.

what is the point on doing something you used to love doing if that love is nonexistent now? it's stupid to do such thing..

still, other people keep doing it even if it hurts them. they keep painting, photographing, dancing, writing, singing... they still do all those things to please people.

they've become too afraid of failure or disapproval. they're afraid of disappointing the people who love their work.

i believe that all humans seek recognition and validation. that's maybe the reason why they keep on doing the thing they've grown to hate.

i hope that never happens to me.

whatever i end up doing, i hope that i never keep pushing myself to do it after i recognize that i hate it.

breaks and hiatus are good ways to fix this problem. it doesn't always work though.

complete abandonment of the thing is mostly the best option.

but then what?

do those people still have a purpose?

if they don't do anything that they love, are they truly living?

i ponder about this a lot.

living vs. existing.

creating things you love and leaving when the love ends vs. pushing yourself to the breakpoint where everything hurts.

it's sad, y'know?

t.r.j

„"„

the small yellow tulip flower is starting to turn dry. its petals are bound to fall at any point. josh still keeps it in the journal.

he likes how it brings a little happiness to it.

"yellow is a happy color."

{🌹💌🌹}

this is highkey my opinion on @/lottotyler leaving for a while or forever.

i had that last part written already and i accidentally deleted it ugh,,,

josh is slowly going insane? maybe?

-alaska