A Misleading Compliment S/MB 2

... lost...

im sorry if i seem.. lost.. or.. distant in the near future... its just... not my week...

I've been stressing about finals next week since monday.. ive had more homework this week than I've had most of the year in health.. on top of that.. all my irl friends are criticizing my boyfriend because they say he doesn't give me enough attention.. sure it sucks at times but i know he has his own stuff.. it's hard when your friends don't approve of the person you love..ive been helping my choir teacher organize the music library before we switch rooms over the summer.. it's such a mess and so stressful... but now this...

when my mom picked me up from school today she told me something that made me burst into tears almost instantly.. my great grandma, the only great grandparent i have left and a women I've been close with my whole life, is in the hospital... the doctors believe she had a stroke.. she's been on the decline for several years but i always tried pushing it aside..but now i can't... it's more than likely that she won't ever return home... after, or even if, she's well enough to leave the hospital, she'll be put in a nursing home... she's said to me and my family so many times that when she can't live on her own that's when she knows it's time... and i don't wanna loose her.. but im afraid that's coming soon...

im just afraid that something is gonna happen to her while I'm in europe... that i won't get to say goodbye..

im sorry if this seemed like a cry for help.. but in a sense it is.. i know some of you have lost close relatives lately.. if you have any advice on how to prepare yourself for it or for coping, I'd be appreciated. or even just a hug. I'll talk it.

I hope everyone has a goodnight and sleeps well.