The Squonge Fic

1-Bye Squidward

"Bye, Squidward; bye, Mr. Krusty- oops, I mean Krabs. Bye, Squidward!" exclaimed Spongebob.

"Why'd you say 'Squidward' twice?" questioned Patrick.

"I like Squidward, heheheh," giggled Spongebob.

Deep inside of Spongebob's squishy exterior, his heart bloomed with joy every time he caught sight of Squidward. He cherished every moment they spent together, every conversation, every stolen glance.

"Hey Patrick, I have a secret to tell you," mused Spongebob.

"Mmm?"

"I want to brush Squidy's tentacles!" screamed Spongebob.

"What's that mean," grunted Patrick.

"Brother, you live under a rock, don't you," said Spongebob angrily.

"What's a rock?" Patrick inquired.

"That's what Squidy's tentacles feel like- rock hard."

"How would you know?"

A childish giggle escaped Spongebob's mouth as his cheeks turned a deeper shade of red.

Patrick furrowed his brows. What happened to his spongey friend? Why is he suddenly acting so strange?

Spongebob continued to drive the underwater submarine he and Patrick were sitting in until they reached Sandy's tree dome.

They happily hopped out and strutted towards the large metal door. They made sure to wear their helmets (Spongebob wouldn't want to experience the feeling of drying out again) and easily twisted open the door and stepped inside.

"Sandy! Where are you?" Patrick called out.

Sandy burst out of her treehouse.

"What are y'all doing here?" she inquired.

"I just got off work and we're bored," answered Spongebob. Spongebob wasn't actually bored, he really just wanted to go home and daydream about Squidward's tentacles, but he knew that Patrick would bother him all day if Spongebob didn't hang out with him.

"Ooh, I have an idea," Sandy claimed with a mischievous smile spread across her lips.

********

"Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?" Sandy screamed as she threw rotten Krabby Patties she stole from the Patty Vault at Mr. Krabs' house.

"How did we end up going along with this?" Spongebob questioned. Patrick shrugged, but continued cheering as Sandy moved on to pelt more at other houses.

"Guys, I really don't think this is legal," Spongebob piped up timidly.

"Oh, who cares, Spongebob. You need to learn to let go and have fun," scolded Patrick.

"I can have fun!" protested Spongebob, offended. Doesn't Patrick remember when Spongebob sang the F.U.N. song to plankton? He's the definition of fun!

"Give me that," Spongebob commanded as he grabbed the bag of Patties from Sandy's hands. They just so happened to be right in front of Squidward's house.

Oh, gosh, I really don't want to do this to Squidward, Spongebob thought nervously.

"Do it, do it!" chanted Patrick and Sandy.

Spongebob closed his eyes and began to throw Krabby Patties at Squidward's house with his eyes closed. His aim was so bad he almost hit Patrick. Sponegbob slowly opened his eyes to saw a mess of buns, patties, lettuce, cheese, and ketchup streaking down the side of Squidward's house.

This isn't so bad! Spongebob thought excitedly. This is actually really fun!

"Spongebob!" a familiar voice yelled in annoyance. Spongebob turned around slowly, patty in hand. Squidward stood three feet away, looking at him in disgust.

"My house! Argh, you're going to pay for this!" Squidward announced, stomping into his house and slamming the door shut behind him.

If Squidward didn't hate Spongebob before, he definitely hated him now. Now how is Spongebob supposed to confess his undying love for Squidward's tentacles?