Positive?!

[17]

Mark:

Jackson hadn't talked to me since I had given him the picture of our baby. He had completely ignored me. No word, not even a single glance. It was like I was out of his world, as if I didn't exist.

I wasn't actually hurt or anything. We had never had a good kind of relationship and so, I was actually happy that he didn't talk to me for a week now. At least, he couldn't insult me then.

Today was some kind of special day. I had planned to tell my parents about the baby today. It was time to let them know because no one knew how they would react and what I would have to do after the talk.

I expected them to throw me out. And then I would need to find a place to stay. They were pretty strict sometimes and they still weren't happy about me being gay although I had already told them two years ago.

I wondered if Jackson would tell his parents that he was going to be a father. Most likely not. But he didn't even have to. Brcause he wasn't the one who's belly was growing everyday.

It was better to tell my parents before my baby bump would be visible. For now I could still hide it but in some months non of my hoodies would be able to hide it which meant the people in school would know, too.

That was something I was extremely afraid of because it could cause Jackson to hate me again. It wasn't my fault that my belly began to grow, it was simply natural but I knew he would still blame me for it.

I kept on eating mine and Jinyoung's rice and thought about if I should better go on diet before I would gain more and more weight. I had already gained nearly five kilograms more and not everything came from the baby.

"And you're sure that you can do it alone? I can be with you, if you want." My best friend was worried because of my hormones. They liked to take control over me and my actions whenever I didn't need it.

I gave him a small smile. "I know and I'm very thankful for that. But I have to do this alone because I want them to be completely honest about it and they wouldn't be if someone was there." I sighed.

Of course, my parents weren't liars but they wanted to make a good impression on other people. They never reacted angry when a friend or a family member was present. But I wanted their honest opinion.

It was better if they yelled at me and threw me out without acting understanding before. I also wanted to convince myself that I was strong and could do things on my own and without help.

"Ok. But call me if something happens." Jinyoung smiled at me and kept on eating his lunch. I took my chocolate milk and drank a bit. Unluckily, someone bumped into me which caused the bottle to slip out of my hand.

It fell down on the floor and the chocolate milk was spread all over my light blue hoodie. Some other students laughed about the big brown stains on my clothes and I just sighed and got up from the chair.

"I'm going to the bathroom and try to wash it out." My black-haired friend nodded. "Do you need help?" He asked me but I shook my head. "No It's ok." I grabbed my bag and went to the bathroom.

Sadly, I already knew that these stains wouldn't go away with some water which meant I would have to spend the day in my dirty hoodie because I didn't have another one and only wore a tight shirt under it.

I entered the bathroom and put my bag down. Luckily, no one was there so I could remove my hoodie to clean it up as good as possible. I just had to hope that no one would come in during the next five minutes.

The water ran over the fabric of my hoodie and I tried to rub the stains away, using all my power. But of course, the chocolate milk was pretty stubborn and my beautiful hoodie stayed dirty.

I sighed and turned the water of. Well, now I the blue piece of clothing wasn't only dirty. It was completely wet too which made it actually impossible to wear it without leaving water drops in the whole school.

The door opened and I flinched, quickly holding the hoodie in front of me to cover my belly. But I let it sink down again when I saw that it was only Jackson who looked over my body.

I actually expected him to go into one of the stalls to do his business but instead he threw his backpack on the floor and removed his black jacket. His actions made me confused but I waited for his next step.

The blonde handed me his jacket. "Here." He simply said and I slowly took the jacket and put it on. It was warm, smelled like cologne and it was also big enough to hide my little baby bump.

"Thank you." I said but the younger was already gone. A smile grew on my face. It made me happy to know that Jackson had a caring side, too and it made me even happier that he had showed it to me.

—

So yes, I forgot to update. But luckily I got some notifications and remembered that I was actually planning to update.

Anyway, after today's events I can officially say that October 2019 was completely fucked up.

Idols have left their groups and one has even left this world.

We can only hope November brings better news.

Also, happy Halloween my dear friends!

Have a spooky night 🦉

Thank you for reading 🖤