BTS Angsts

Min Yoongi - Longing

The quiet streets of Daegu only contributed to the emptiness in my heart. As though the emotional pain was strong enough to make the suffering physical. Walking past a convenience store, I bought a small can of coke before walking towards the beach. The cool breeze increased as my footsteps inched closer and closer to the water. Taking a sip of my coke I sighed at the never ending feeling of sadness. I stood there watching the waves overlap each other, crashing against the pier and moving to the shore slowly. How I yearned to be free from this heart wrenching feeling. Just to experience happiness again was something that I longed for so dearly. Closing my eyes, I let myself be remorsed in the painful memories of the past.

---- Flashback ----

The green grass brushed against my fingertips as the warm sunlight shone on my face.  Yoongi's soft snores could be heard as we lay on our blue picnic blanket. I looked over at him, studying his cute sleeping face. I smiled, before intertwining our fingers together and staring up at the fluffy white clouds in the sky. "What are you thinking about?" Yoongi asked, cutting me off from my 'cloud watching'. "Nothing.." I replied, squeezing his hand tightly. We lay in silence for a while until he sparked up a conversation. "Will you ever stop loving me?" Yoongi's question startled me, as it was so sudden from the usual conversations we had. "Of course not." I said after a minute, and Yoongi smiled. We both fell silent again until I gained the courage to speak. "Will you?" I didn't dare look at Yoongi and just waited for his response. I became shocked when his arms wrapped around me tightly and he planted a kiss on my forehead. "Never.." He whispered...

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I didn't realise the tears that filled my eyes at the sudden memory, and couldn't help but feel nostalgic about the past experience. I longed to have Yoongi by my side again. Feel his hand intertwined with mine, or his warm hugs. See his gummy smile and gentle eyes, and just know that he belonged to me. The love I felt for him was stronger than any other feeling I had felt before. But does he love me like he used to? Or was it all a lie? Watching the ocean water and being alone with these thoughts of Yoongi were killing me. What had once been our fun beach outing had turned into a place of envying the past. I took a deep breath and gazed up at the sky, trying so hard to shake the feeling of loneliness. I guess I'll always be missing him. But that's love, right? It can be so amazing and wonderful to experience, yet the end of it is so painful. I longed to be in Yoongi's arms again, but it seemed as though he wouldn't even think about me.
Would he?