Spotlight

05

We got to my house and I ran inside up to my room and packed the closest bag I had. Everything that I could possibly need, I shoved into the Adidas sports bag, and tore it off my bed and continued to run back down the stairs.

"Mae?" my mom asked, stepping into the shadows outside of the kitchen. I took my hand off the door handle, my smile fading from my face.

I stopped, frozen.

What had I planned to tell her?

"Where are you going?" she asked. I looked at the clock on the wall in the kitchen behind her, noting that it was nearly six a.m.

"I'm leaving Mom..."

"Leaving where?" she asked instantly.

"I'm going to California."

I didn't want her to stop me. I didn't want her to convince me not to go, because Tristan only just convinced me to go.

She didn't say anything. Instead, she nodded. It was sort of like she understood.

"How long will you be gone for?" she asked.

"I don't know. However long it takes me."

She pushed the blind over the window to the side and took a moment to look at Tristan's car in the driveway.

She firmly wrapped her hands around my back and hugged me tightly. I didn't understand why, or how she was so understanding of me leaving.

"Mom, how are you so okay with me going?" I asked when the hug ended.

"I was in love once too."

"Mom, I'm not-"

"Mae, you're in love. You just don't know how to feel it yet. Us MacDonald girls just don't know how to feel it until we have it, or until we're in it," she whispered with a smile as she tightened her dressing gown at the waist. She referenced to Macdonald, which was her name before she married Jeremy. Sometimes she occasionally still called herself that.

My heart warmed at her smile, as she opened the door for me. Within a second I was out into the fresh air. She stood in the doorway, a small tear streaming down her cheek that glistened in the early morning light.

I looked at Tristan in the car; who was watching us.

"Mom, I'm going to be fine..." I softly hummed, as she drew me in for a close hug. I didn't know if I didn't feel anything or if I was numb – but I felt alright about leaving at the moment.

Before I let myself have a second thought, I tore away from her arms and ran towards Tristan's car. He was on his phone as he selected a song on a playlist he had created.

Within a few minutes all of my bags for college were loaded into the boot.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked.

I wasn't ready – and I probably never would be. I was only seventeen, and was leaving everything I knew in Miami to go to a college where I didn't know anyone.

I didn't let myself turn back, and instead I presser the small button in his car to release the parking break , proving that I was ready to go.

*******************

The sun had risen by the time we got to the lounge where everyone sat waiting for their flights. I paced beside the window, imagining all the people and where they were all going.

"Calm down," he laughed, running has hands through his hair. He took his beanie off and shook his blonde locks.

"Don't tell me to calm down!" I snapped back. I aired myself with the airplane ticket in my hand, rechecking the seats even though I knew they would be the same.