4 o'clock

0900

Two weeks have passed by quickly, so quick that I did not even realise that it has also been two weeks since you left me, and this world,

Park Jimin.

"I brought flowers for you," I whispered under my breath, as I stared at his tombstone, before placing the bouquet of flowers that I brought along near it.

"They're beautiful, aren't they? Just like how you look when you had that smile on your face," I chuckled to myself.

박 지 민
1995.10.13 - 2017.12.10

"Tomorrow is my birthday. It's my first time not celebrating it with you,"

"I wish you were here, so we can celebrate it together," I smiled, as I felt tears dripping down my left cheek.

"We can talk about absolute nonsense, we can talk about our wishes, just both of us,"

I glanced down at my watch, what a perfect timing.

"Even now, can you guess what time is is?"

I exhaled a breath that I didn't realise I was holding, "It's 4 o'clock,"

"During this time, I will be sitting on the bench at the park, waiting for you to come, but I guess-,"
"You won't show up anymore,"

I wiped the tears that had left my cheeks wet, and giggled as I thought how silly I might look like while crying.

I crouched down, and took a close look at his tombstone and his grave.

"I wish you were here, Jimin. I wish you were here. I wish I could hold your hand for one last time. I wish I could tell you how great of a friend you are for one last time. I wish I could take you to an amusement park for one last time. I wish I cou-could see your face for one last time," my lips began to tremble as I kept talking, the tears were coming out more than I thought it would be.

"Why did you lie to me, Jimin?! Why?! Why?! You should've told me the truth, maybe we can prevent this from happening together! Why do you have to tell me at your very last breath, that you weren't feeling well? You had been keeping the secret from me for almost two years! You should've not lied to me!" I yelled with my hoarse voice, as I put my forehead on his grave.

"Two weeks have been like hell without you! Everyone is leaving me, first my parents, then my grandmother and now you, the only person that I have in life,"

"I miss you so much, Jimin. I mi-miss you so much," I said through my tears.

"I read your letter," I said, as I took a deep breath after wiping the tears from my face. "It broke me to read about your silent suffers," my lips trembled once again.

"I could donate mine to you, it doesn't matter unless you get to stay with me! Stay breathing and living like you used to be!" my breath was heavy.

The clouds were dark, there was no sign of dawn or dusk, it was plain gloomy and dark. The snows were falling as if they were in slow motion, everything felt different.

I should be scared coming to a graveyard at 4 in the morning, but the feeling wasn't there.

The only thing I was feeling was needy, needy to be right by my best friend's side, who will no longer be by my side,

on that bench.

The more I stared at his tombstone, the more I miss him. The more memories started to recall back at the back of my mind. The more of his smiles started to appear on top of my head.

I loved that smile,
I loved that laugh,
he doesn't know how much joy he brought to me by doing those simple little things.

He looks beautiful with the flowers I bought for him, I am pretty sure he had a bright smile painted across his face, as a smile was slowly worked its way across my face.

"I'm going to miss you a lot, Park Jimin,"

friends forever,
kim taehyung & park jimin

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