Nostalgia | Dazai Osamu

8| Grasp

(Y/n) P.O.V

I scrambled from the bed, my throat dry and metallic tasting. I sit up, breathing heavy and aloud.

What just happened? Why was everything white and felt so pure? Why was it so pristine and perfect? Where do my darkness that haunted my night go?

I ran a finger through my hair, chest fluctuating rapidly.

What did this mean? I had never experienced anything like this before- not in the twenty two years of my life. Everything I've known has been dark, black, horrid and hellish. It was a scar living inside me, a curse I was born with. the downside of my Gift that would never leave.

I try and slow my breathing, grasping onto the duvet for help.

What had happened?

"You're still having nightmares?... After all this time?"

My eyes widened, was that who I thought it was? Or was I still dreaming?

I turned my head to the door in a sudden shock. My eyes landed on the tall, familiar man, too quickly for me to prepare. Immediately my cheeks redden from the bed, and I pull the duvet over me more.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I said in one breath," Get out!" I scream, throwing him a cushion at his face. He darted out of the room, closing the door behind him.

"I've seen you like that plenty of times before, why concern over it now?" He cheekily said, opening the door again. From behind the door, I could sense his big, stupid grin. I jumped from the bed, quickly put on some pyjamas, and ripped the door open.

"Because I am not okay with it now, Dazai!"

Of course, his grin became wider than before, irritating me, "Well what a shame, I'm pretty sure you was."

Maybe all this was a nightmare still.

He walked away and headed towards the kitchen to switch the kettle on,"Good morning, my little ray of demonic sunshine."

"Your  little ray of demonic sunshine?"

I was disgusted at that. I glared at him as he confidently walked freely in my own house, bewildered at the forgotten sight of him roaming my house like the way we shared it years ago. What the hell was he doing here? How long ago did he arrive? How did he even get through the door?

"Dazai-" I was about to ask him the reason of his appearance, by was cut of with my mouth still wide open.

"I know, one sugar with milk."

I then frowned, shut my mouth and said," I'm not worried about the tea, I want to know why you're here!"

"Oh that! Of course." He said, sounding excited yet somewhat sarcastic. The kettle had soon stopped rumbling and he grabbed the handle, pouring hot liquid into two cups. I watched him from across the island as he gracefully made the drinks in front of me- from the move of his shoulder blades through his beige trench coat and the tilt of the back of his head was still bewildering. I started to figure out whether I should kill him or let him stay a little while longer. However, there was this feeling that had gently made its way to my chest, tightening it so softly... It felt so, so strange for him to be here in front of me after four years of his disappearance.

It was almost surreal.

I pinched my cheek. My reality checks where great in times when I wasn't sure if I had woken up yet. Unfortunately, I felt the pinch.