I'll Rise Up - Completed #Wattys2017

DEEP

Sunday 7th of February 2016

I slowly open my eyes, I lift my head a little to stare around my room just to make sure I wasn't in my old bedroom. I fell back in relief. Whoa what a memory. I scratch my head remembering my first day of year 7, eleven-years-old. The first time I've not dreamed with dad directly in it. God, I was such a bitch to mum.

I wander into my other room, and yesterday flooded back to me and wander to my bathroom door, toothbrush in my mouth and stare at the letter on my table. Yesterday wasn't a dream, just like Colton said. My boyfriend... I widen my eyes and repeated it over and other just now realising I have a sweet, kind and cute boyfriend.

I walk into the kitchen in a daze.

"Dawson?" I shake my thoughts out of my head and move to give Mum a hug, ''oh, you ok?'' She hugs me back.

''I was such a bitch to you,'' I muffled into her shoulder, smelling pears.

''Hey, language Dawson! But you had every right to be.''

''No, mum in England.'' She grips my shoulders and pulls back to stare confused at me.

"What do you mean?" Mum points to the table and we both sit.

"You know how I've been having nightmares," she nods, her curly hair down and done for the first time since all the drama happened. "Well they stopped."

Mum beamed gripping my hand. "That's good Dawson." She happily spoke. I grimace, "I have memory dreams instead, memory I don't remember until I have them.'' Mum smile, slowly faded in to a blank look. I would've felt the same. " Are you sure they're not just your imagination?"

I had to tell her once and for all before she though I wasn't sane, "how did I find out I didn't like blood?"

She knew I was trying to explain so she thought about it. After a moment mum responds, "well you were younger and you were sitting by the pool. I think I remember you saying something like. 'Mum please, I need to tan! I don't want to look like a ghost.' We both chuckle.

'I was doing something and Michael had just got home early and wanted to surprise you...' I interrupted her, carrying on.

'And he screamed my name and I fell into the pool, scrapping my whole back and I got out shouting at him. I had pink shorts on. I felt dizzy and dad caught me as I felt my back. Blood coated in my hand and I kept screaming. Get it off, then you ran out to see what happened.' I tell just as it happened in the dream.

''Oh Dawson, you dreamed that, what else?' she believes me so I tell her all about dad's birthday, the zoo, getting food poisoning and dad taking care of me. She rubs her head after I tell her I'm finished. 'Why didn't you tell me Dawn? Are they all with Michael?'

Answering yes until today and I explain about this morning. ''Right- that's horrifying, when did this start, this week?'' I avoid her eyes as I whisper hearing the stress in her tone, ''yes, it was the day I asked you for Lane's number.''

''Do you want to talk to me about it,'' she asked timidly. I gaze back at her in sadness, ''no, but it's only because I'm not ready to talk about it properly. I just needed to tell you mum.''

''I appreciate that Dawson, thanks for opening up to me.' She rubs my back before changing the topic. ''How was your first date with Colton? To tell you the truth I was scared he was going to be a bad one but he's really nice. I like him."

I knew she was trying to distracted us both from that conversation and I loved that because my whole murky mood turned upside down and I gave her a shy grin.

''I'm so pleased you like him mum- he took me to the beach, and we had a picnic and Colton even asked Tyler for the foods I love. We just talked and I don't know how to describe it mum... The feeling I have for Colton came out of the blue like when a magician shows your card. It was a totally shock.''

Mum's eyes were crinkled at the sides as she shares my joy.

Blushing. 'He asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. I don't regret it.' I stare at mum to see her smile sadly now and I then realises that must be how it was with dad.

''I'm sorry mum, I didn't realise...,'' I frown looking down, mad at myself.

''No Dawn, it's fine... I remember falling in love for the first time and you described it perfectly Dawson so don't be sorry, and if Colton's your boyfriend, I want to meet him officially.''

''Yes, you will, I promise,'' I then remember something, ''is Bradley coming?''

''I phoned him last night after you went bed and he said yes. He'll be here at three... Are you sure you're ready to meet him?"

I had to ask. ''Is he anything like dad.. in spite the obvious?'' Mum stands turning away putting on the kettle. ''I'm not sure I can answer that Dawn. You'll have to decide that for yourself. To me I grew up with them both in my teenage years. Bradley and Michael are both very different from one another. I saw it straight away.'' Mum responds.

Well that didn't help. That just confused me more. 'How come I didn't know about him.' I finally ask ready for the answer as the kettle boils.

''Bradley told me he wants to tell you himself.'' Mum wheels around, the cup of tea in her arms. Dhe observes me before taking a sip from her mug.

''Well ok mum, thanks. I'm going to get dressed.''

''Well ok Dawn.''