Never Let This Go *Paramore*

Chapter Twenty-Nine: A Small Reminder

"How cold have I become

I didn't want to

Lose you by what I'd done

Caught in the grey

It burns for a moment but

But then it numbs you

Takes you and leaves you just

Caught in the grey,"

-The Grey; Icon For Hire

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Hayley's P.O.V.

More people came than I expected to come. Erica, Mikayla, My step-mom, and step-dad on other side, Jeremy, Kat, Bliss, my grandparents, my cousins, Taylor, people from the record, friends of mine, Liz, and more. Everyone is crying for me, dressed in black. I'm in a black dress too, it's just that I'm the reason for their crying.

Once they start to lower me into the ground, I wake. I scream for help, and for someone to let me out, but no one does. People start yelling and spitting at my almost-buried body. They curse and call me names, too. Taylor yells he's glad I'm dead, and Mikayla screams that I was always a burden to her.

I wake with a jolt, and sit up with a short scream and heavy breathing. The pain of jolting up like that brings the stomach and back pains back, and I wince in pain once again. Taylor sits up and brings me into his lap. "What was it?" he whispers.

"I was dead. Everyone I ever loved was spitting on my grave," I tell him through silent tears that are now being shed. I cry silently into his chest. Having Taylor here makes me feel so much safer and happier it's an insane difference.

"I'll be right back," he says kissing my head and moving off of the bed. A minute or so later, he comes back with one of those Hot & Cold relief things, and moves me so that he can see my back. He puts it on the small of my back and I kiss him softly.

"Thank you," I whisper laying down. He lays down too, spooning me, and draping his arm over my waist in just the right place. I feel a mixture of happiness and sadness, and I'm not sure what to think. Everything wrong in my life is somehow blocked out with the fact that I'm with Taylor, and that he can protect me.

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I wake up with my head in Taylor's chest, and apparently he wakes too because he removes his arm from around me sitting up. I peck his lips and try to sit up. The back pain is almost completely gone, but my stomach pains aren't. Taylor and I stay comfortable on the bed for a couple minutes and eventually I get up. "I'm going to shower," I tell him. He gets up as well.

"I might as well too," he says walking toward his bag and then to the other shower.

I grab shorts and a t shirt and shut the bathroom door. I start the water and set a towel out for when I'm finished. The water is hot, and it feels good. I make it hotter. It is so hot at this point it stings on my bruises and burns my head and feet. The hot water makes me feel weaker for some reason, like I have to sit down as well as being out of breath. I sit on the bottom of the shower and let the hysterically hot water pour down on my back that should be getting something cold.

I wince in pain and my bruise starts to throb. My back is being ruining by this, but I can't bring myself to turn it off. It's almost like when I self harmed, but this is mild and isn't...bloody. Not that all self harm is bloody, though.

I squeeze out a tear from the pain and start loosing my breathe to a higher extent. How long have I been in this hot water? I let the hot water wash over my face, forgetting the mark on my cheek, and it stings because it's so hot. How hot is it? 120°?