His Lover, My Mate

Eighteen: Distrust

*Aletha*

It was strange that she would find so much warmth in someone who she thought was so cold. His body swallowed her up as he pressed her tightly against his chest and...dematerialized. Before she knew it, the smell of the Night Pack was sharp in her nose. It made her wary again. It made her almost stop breathing, because it was so familiar yet so unknown.

She moved away from his neck, realizing she'd been burrowed in his hair, pressing her mouth against his skin. When she met his eyes again, she didn't know what he was thinking. They were swirling with so many emotions, and they overwhelmed her. The morning sun burned behind him, and he winced. His grip on her tightened, but she knew he was losing energy fast.

"I can walk," she insisted, trying to push away.

"No," he said, voice fierce and cold.

The harshness in his voice almost made her flinch. "Why not?"

"Your feet will hurt. The ground is too sharp in this side of the territory. I made my men put blades here deliberately so it can injure enemies."

She looked down at his feet. He wasn't wearing any shoes. Now that she thought of it, he wasn't wearing anything but trousers. He'd given her his shirt when he saw her almost...raped. "You're walking on the ground," she pointed out. "Besides, the sun's making you weak. You'll drop me."

"I won't drop you," he countered. "And I happen to know exactly where the blades are on the ground, which is why I am not injured. You wouldn't last a second on your feet here, so don't try it."

"You don't trust me?" But she regretted asking the question the minute it came out of her mouth.

He looked at her darkly. A flash of haunting betrayal tinged in his expression before she saw stinging pain. "No," he whispered. "I don't trust you."

Of course he didn't. She'd broken her loyalty to him and shown it to a male who never cared for her. She'd shown her loyalty to his enemy. He would never trust her after this.

She wondered why he wasn't being colder with her. She was expecting him to snarl at her or maybe even punish her physically. So far, he'd done nothing.

What if he was still contemplating ways to punish her? She began to shiver. That was not good. Alphas in the Darklands never punished their Lunas well. They punished them brutally. They shattered anyone who showed a hint of disobedience, and she'd just shown the worst level of disobedience as his mate. She'd betrayed him when she revealed where her true loyalty had been.

Painful memories of Lucien flashed in her mind, and she wanted to cry again. She'd also been betrayed. Betrayed by the man she always looked up to. The man who had saved her life once. Instead, it had all just been a game of power to him. She'd always been a pawn that he'd twisted and manipulated and shattered in the end.

She tried reaching into their bond to feel his emotions, but all that greeted her was a void of coolness. He didn't reveal himself to her. He'd lost all trust in her when he saw felt their bond tear into pieces when Lucien marked her. But she knew from how taut his muscles were that he was holding himself back from potentially snapping her neck. He'd warned her and she didn't care. How could she believe him when all she heard were mere words? Words carried no value. Words didn't work with her. She had to see things to believe they existed. Months of torture and rape made her mind cynical, almost hopeless. She didn't believe in anything anymore.

So when she'd realized Rush had been right, that he'd always been right about Lucien and his dark, evil secrets, she couldn't wrap her head around it. She thought she was in a nightmare. She thought she wasn't really living anymore, and that everything she was witnessing was a trick of her mind. It was like hot metal burning a hole through her guts. It was the worst agony she'd ever felt. How could Lucien lie to her for seven years? Why did he twist her heart for so long? He had to have felt something for her...he had to have at least cared a little for her!