My Best Mistake ♡ 4 years later♡

I Love you Mom

natalia.

I was really peeved as I started making my way over to my parents house. there were scenarios already playing in my head of where this conversation might be headed. I mean my mom and I have touched on this subject before but it was always the same thing with her

" your sisters and you shouldn't be fighting, just forgive her" that's what she always says

I can understand from a mother's perspective that you don't want your kids to be fighting. I understand trust me i do. it's just it seems like she just brushed the whole thing off like it was noting and I should just move on with my life and get over it. I mean come on now I was devastated and hurt. all I wanted was for her to say is that everything's gonna be okay, that she's here for me and what my sister and husband did together was wrong. but no none of that and that shit hurt man.

Hell even my dad understood where I was coming from and comforted me. he even called Trisha to tell her of and ask how she could do this. even though that conversation went no where at least he tried.

I pulled up to my parents house and for some reason I felt like a stranger as I got out the car and walked up those steps. I rang the door bell and waited. I don't why I'm nervous I did nothing that was not justified.

my mom opened the door and looked at me. she left it open as she walked away.

I sighed As I closed the door behind me and walked in the house. I saw her sitting on the sofa just looking at me with dead eyes

I walked over and sat down next to her and looked back at her as she stared at me

" are you gonna talk, you want to have this conversation so let's go I don't have time to just sit here to have us looking at each other i have to go back-to the hospital where your sister is currently getting checked out at.

I rolled my eyes at that last comment.

" mom all I want to say Is that I am not sorry for what I did to Trisha, while you May not see it the way I did she had it coming for a long long time.I probably should not have fought her But I can honestly say That it felt really good to finally released the anger that I have been holding for her all this time

you were there mom, you saw it. she wanted to fight me just as much as did and you can play that whole we're sisters thing mom but at that moment we were two women who had built up animosity towards each-other and we just wanted to let it out and  we did

what I cannot understand is how after all this time, after all my crying that you never once tried to say
     ' I know you're hurt I know what they did was wrong. I am your mother and I will be here for you, you do not have to forgive her if you do not want to but do not hold on to this hate I love you'

I didn't want those exact words but shit even something along those lines would of helped me but you said nothing and you did nothing when she said she was gonna Marry him. you said nothing when she asked you to help her plan".

she looked down at her clasped hands and said nothing but I know my mom and I knew she was thinking.

"mom what would you have done if she and Jessie had a kid. not only would that have been Tyler's cousin slash brother or sister but what would You say huh. You can't not see my point of view just like i  can't see your point of view and I can't understand it either"

I finished my rant and waited for her to speak. she looked up at me and what she said next shocked me

" I would have wished your sister and Jessie all the happiness in the world" she said with stern voice