I Amuse Him ✔️

Pink Pomerarian

"Think Big And Don't Listen To People Who Tell You It Can't Be Done. Life's Too Short To Think Small."- Tim Ferriss

My Anaconda don't...

My Anaconda don't...

My Anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun

Boy toy named Troy used to live in Detroit

Big dope dealer money, he was getting some coins

Was in shootouts with the law, but he live in a palace

Bought me Alexander McQueen, he was keeping me stylish

Now that's real, real, real,

I groaned in my sleep "What?" I screamed loud in my pillow.

My voice was harsh with anger and sleep deprivation. No one is allowed to disturb a girl in her sleep on a Saturday morning.

No one.

I am going to kill her.

My iphone showed the caller id -Des 'with a heart emoji'

And there on the other side was my best friend, Destiny, and her new found hobby is to irritate Danny to a point where her brain explodes and splatters onto the ground.

Ok Danny calm down. So what that you are on your periods? You are not allowed to strangle people.

You are a good person.
After I gave myself some pep talk and believe me, that's important, I finally put the phone on my ear while I could heart the faint sound of someone's loud breathing. It felt like an animal was taking deep long breaths.

"Hey Danny! It's me Des!" Good person Danny, You are a Good person.  I reminded myself and caught the odd yet loud voice of my best friend.

"What do you want?" "Well Good Morning to you too. I am just fine. Thanks for asking" sarcasm dripping in every word.

That's it. The good Danny is thrown out of my window and under a truck.

"Ok Des, Now if you don't tell me what was so important that you had to call me on a Saturday morning"

"Afternoon" she said cutting me off mid sentence, my mouth is still open and I looked at the clock which shows 2:00 p.m.

2:15 to be exact.

"I am a good person and I am not allowed to kill people" I said like it gave any explanation of me being a heavy sleeper.

"Yeah you totally are. Now wake up your saggy ass and come to my house as soon as you can." She ordered me through the phone. 

Saggy ass?

"I have pretty round ass okay?"

"Seriously? That's what you got from the whole sentence?" she said as if this was the most unbelieving thing is the world.

Sometimes I still can't believe that Michael Jackson is dead.

"Just come here soon. Okay? I have some great news to tell you." She said. 

"You pregnant?" I asked

"What? No."

"Then what is the great news?" I said holding my laugh.

"You mean witch. You better be here in 5 minutes and don't make me come there and let me show my boxing.." I cut the line. If there's one thing in life that I don't want to see, it's Destiny's boxing skills implied on me. She can break my jaw in just one hit.

I think I have to betray my bed, go to her house, and hear what the good news is. I pouted as I prepared myself to get up.

I got up from my really comfy bed, if I might add, and move towards my dresser. I looked into the mirror and "Oh my god" I screamed at the top of my lungs and put my hands on my zombie looking self.