All At Once (Completed) - Finding You Book 1

Camden, cont.

This kid.

He brings out this protective, mama bear side of Harper and it's absolutely beautiful. She puts big feelings inside of me; I didn't see it coming.

Her hand presses into his messy, sweaty hair and he pulls away from me. "Who's hungry?" she asks with a smile. "We should hit a restaurant on the way back to the hotel,"

"Sounds great," Chase says patting his stomach. "You've got your priorities straight, Harp," he says smiling.

My heart flutters. I've seen them interact many times before, but this feels different. Harper is good at everything I'm not; she's gentle but gets the kid to understand his mistakes and the impact of his choices. She hardly ever raises her voice because she doesn't have to. Her son died as a toddler, but the mother in her is still fighting to stay alive.

It's a tragedy that she doesn't want more kids. If I close my eyes and let my head spin hard enough, I can see her as the mother of my future children...children I never imagined having until I fell in love with her.

This boy in front of me deserves love more than anyone or anything I've ever known. I've always had a lot to say about my childhood, but it was nothing like this. I pulled away from Andrew and Chase when I was younger because I thought no matter what I did or said I'd only make it worse. But now as I stand in front of this teenage boy who's damn near close to the age I was when this mess started, I wish so badly I could go back in time and not give up.

I could've been supportive of the boy. I could've played with him more and gotten under Andrew's skin enough to get him to realize the kind of life they were leading. I could've done something. Anything would've been better than walking away.

Now I want to erase every single 'remedy' Chase has concocted for his mother... every single lie he's told to cover for Andrew. I want to look into my mother's eyes and make her love me enough to be honest...to stand in the face of the man who called himself my 'father' for years, and laugh out of gratefulness that I'm not really his son.

But if I could go back in time and start one thing over, I wouldn't proposition Harper for sex within a few moments of meeting her. I'd forget my fears about love and relationships and dive in, head first, and wouldn't make her feel like she was just another warm body in my bed.

She'd say "I love you" loudly and clearly and I'd believe it, without a doubt.

But it would never play out so simply.

I can't help but feel regret and guilt for the many things I've done to get us here today. Harper would say it was really no one's fault, and that life has a funny way of saying 'I told you so,' but that's just so hard to believe when a fourteen year-old boy is running a detox center out of his mother's small, dirty bathroom.

Chase's smile falls as his eyes shift to the closed bathroom door.

"I know I told her she had to handle this herself, but honestly I'm a little worried. Have you ever really seen her when she...?" he asks, looking me in the eye. "She's going to do it again. I know she is. I want to leave because I know she's going to do another line, maybe two, and this time it will be worse because she's depressed. She knows her limits, but right now? I don't think she cares. She might take it to far," he says honestly.

"How about I stay?" Harper says slowly.

"What? No," I say, wide-eyed. "You've got to be kidding me! Were you there a few minutes ago when she lost it over you taking care of Chase? She's dangerous, Harper. I can't let you stay here by yourself!"