Toxic (Harry Styles)

Chapter 41

Chapter 41

Well if you ask me, love has no measures of how long you've known someone. A relationship is defined by how much you can't spend a day without thinking about them, without loving them, without hearing their voice. It's about the butterflies you get when someone mentions their name and it's how much you care about that person.

He looked at me for more than a moment. I begin to believe he didn't hear me at all but I rule that out quick. I spoke loud, and clear, and courageous.

Only Harry couldn't believe his ears. I rub his cheekbone, hoping to produce some kind of reaction from him. "Harry," I say softly. It feels wrong to disturb the silence.

"What're you saying?" His facial expression stays the same, but I can prominently feel all of his muscles tighten.

I felt the words catch in my throat but I have to force them past the lump lodged there. If I don't say it now, I don't think I'll ever get the chance again.

"Make love to me," I croak. "I'm ready."

As his eyebrows frown ever so slightly, I can practically hear his thought process.

How do you make love?

I wish I could answer it for him, but I'm just as clueless. Of course, I know Harry is experienced in the area of sex, but it was only flings. He said himself that they never meant anything. I mean something to him, and I could say the same.

But my beautiful lover doesn't know what love is.

"Here?" He finally gulps.

"Why not?" I ask rhetorically. I couldn't think of a rational reason why not, though. Now, here, seems like the best time out of any; when the stress levels are low and no one can bother us. If we were at my house there's the chance of Dad being off work. At Harry's place we'd have to worry about Lucas and Regina over hearing. I really don't what my first time to be heard by others.

Here it's quiet, peaceful. Perfect.

I'm no professional, but I know what love entitles. I'm ready to do what it takes, to go whatever measure I have to go. This is new territory for the both of us, and I want both of us to find level ground together.

"Are you sure?" He looks at me sternly.

I can feel the thumping of my irregular heart, and the beat of his under my hand. With pure tears of happiness swelling in my eyes, I nod.

"Say it," Harry demands quietly. "I want to hear you say it."

"Yes, Harry. I want you. All of you."

I love you. I had the words at the tip of my tongue but I found it unless when Harry yanks me down to him and he kisses me again, much more fervently. I responded just as enthusiastically, as hands roamed and limbs entangled with each other so we didn't know where one began and the other ended.

"Have me," he murmurs against my neck.

And everything but he and I were forgotten.   

***

HARRY'S POV

I didn't waste time by sitting in the parking lot and remember last night; I had time to do that on the drive over here.

I remember how she felt, the look in her eyes when she said she was ready. And how things were clumsy and she laughed, but it was sensual. How I had to comfort her, and the once or twice I thought about stopping just because I didn't want to see her in pain. How Shay's tears of joy turned into tears of suffering but she never once gave up.