They Call Him Chandler (Under Revision)

Four: Arguments

~Nikki~

Still January 21st, 2012

I laid in bed, staring out of the window at the night’s sky, trying to count the stars. Hoping I’d see a falling one just so I could wish myself away from here. Chandler left my room a few hours ago after making me tell him what he’d missed the past five years. It was weird how interested he was in my uneventful life. To be honest, I haven’t done much with my life. Not after he left.

After I’d finished talking, Chandler told me about his life. About England, his school….and Clair. Of course he talked about Clair. He didn’t say much, but I could tell he loves her. And that hurts. But why would he want me when he has the ever-so-beautiful and perfect Clair? Why would he want me anyway…

“You know I‘d never do that to you.” I heard Chandler nearly yell from next door.

He’s been in an argument with someone on the phone for a good two hours. His voice was another thing keeping me awake. How am I supposed to sleep while he’s on the phone all night? My parents clearly didn’t think this plan through. I don’t think they thought about this plan at all. 

“I love you. I honestly do, I just…” there was a pause. “Yes. And I am so sorry.”

What is he talking about? Who is he talking about? I could’ve sworn I heard him say Clair’s name earlier, but now I’m not sure…Could he be two timing her? No…not Chandler. I know he’s changed, but not that much. He’d never two time his girlfriend. Ever.

I heard foot steps in the hallway before my door slowly creaked open. Thinking it was my Mother coming to check on me, I imminently snapped my eyes shut, breathing heavily as if I were asleep. Slowly, foots steps began to fill the silence in my room, causing me to think the worst: There’s an axe murder in my house and he’s coming to kill me first. That thought made me freeze out of fear. Because staying still under the cover is going to keep a murderer from killing you. Hmm. Seems legit.

My eyes flew open when the bed sank down behind me. I didn’t move when a hand brushed my hair behind my ear. I just stared out of the window, scared to do anything else. “Nikki? Are you awake?” Chandler…Of course. I should have known.

I let I the breath I’d been holding in, letting myself relax a little. Key word: A little. It’s not like you can really ‘relax’ when the guy you’re in love with is in bed with you. Come on now. “Yeah. Whatcha need, Chan?”

“I just--” he stopped himself, shrugging as he sighed. “I had an argument with Clair over something I have no control over. ”

My lips fell into a lop-sided frown as I heard the hurt in his voice. Of course. Clair. He’s upset over Clair. Not surprising. “Sorry.” is all I managed to get out. I felt my bottom lip begin to quiver and I honestly wanted to crawl under the covers and cry like I do every night. But, like always, I put everyone else’s feelings before my own. “So…” I mumbled, turning toward Chandler, hoping and praying that the tears wouldn’t start. “Wanna talk about it?” I asked, silently thanking my voice for not cracking. “That helps some times.”

He was quiet for a while, his hazel eyes beginning to glaze over as they stared into mine. He opened his mouth to speak, but quickly snapped it shut before biting his lip adorably. Oh god…why do you have to be so perfect Chandler? “I’d rather not.”

I nodded, looking away as I tried to ignore the look he’s giving me. One thing about Chandler’s facial expressions: They either tell you everything he’s thinking, or they’ll confuse you to no end. It’s normally the latter. To be honest, right now, I don’t really want to understand the look he’s giving me. He’s hurt from fight with Clair, I know that much. Stupid, beautiful, British Clair.

“Nikki?” he whispered just as my eye lids began to slide close. “Would you mind it if I…slept in here? With you?”

‘Yes, Chandler. I would mind that an awful lot.’ I thought to myself. I should say no to him. I need to say no. I need to tell him to get the hell out of my room, my house, my whole goddamn life. But I can’t. Because, like the smart idiot I am, I fell in love with him the second he walked through our front door 11 years ago. If I haven‘t already said it a million times, then I’ll say it once more: I‘m in love with Chandler Alexander. And for that reason, my response was: “Not really, no.”

‘Silly girl. He’s just going to break your heart when he leaves. Again.’ is what my brain told me.

‘Yeah, but for now, it’s worth it.’ is what my heart whispered back.

However, every thought that was running through my head came to a screeching halt when I felt Chandler’s fingers intertwine with mine. As much as I hate to admit it, this, his hand in mine, is the rightist thing I’ve ever felt in my entire life. Too bad he was probably thinking the same thing every time he touched Clair. Some Higher Power has an awful sense of humor.

----

My eyes opened slowly, letting the sun that was already peaking through blinds get into my eyes. Have you ever wondered why the sun is so bright?

But, when felt an unusual weight around my waist, I realized the sun being too bright was the least of my problems. My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I realized it was Chandler’s arm. Chandler Alexander…has his arm…draped around my waist.
 
My break caught when he exhaled deeply, before making an adorable sleep noise. It was so cute, I couldn’t control the light chuckle that escaped my lips. But suddenly, Chandler slid his other arm under my waist and pulled me into him further. Causing me to turn over. Meaning…my face is now in his chest. Well, of all the ways I’ve woken up, this is by far the best.

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Chandler said slowly, sleep coating his voice.

‘His sleepy voice is sexy…’ I couldn’t help thinking to myself. Again, why are you so perfect, Chandler?

Even though he apologized, he hadn‘t let go of me. He was still holding onto my waist as if it was  something natural. Like it happened all the time. The strange part is, his arm fit into the curve of my waist perfectly. As if it was a missing piece of the puzzle that is my body. Why do I think I‘m so right for Chandler when I’m so obviously not? “Are you alright, Nikki? Your breathing is odd.” his words were a whisper, but they were loud enough to snap me out of my daze of self pity.

I took a deep breath before I spoke. “I’m fine, Nurse Chandler.” I said in a sarcastic tone.

As his perfect lips pulled into a crooked half-smile, I realized that it was one of the most beautiful things I’d ever seen. “Doctor Alexander, actually.” his smirk grew wider as he took his arms from around me and rolled out of the bed, eyes still on mine. “So, if you ever want to play doctor and naughty patient,” he wiggled his eyes brows.

I let my jaw dropped open before quickly catching it and snapping it close. Did he just make a sexual remark to…me? I grabbed the nearest pillow and chucked it at his head. “Get out.” I ordered, trying to bite back the laugh that was threatening to escape my lips. When the pillow hit him, he scrunched up his nose, making him even more adorable. Stupid, stupid, Chandler. Stop being perfect.

 He leaned down to kiss me on the forehead before he began to walked towards my door, still smiling like crazy, of course. “I’ll be back.” he chuckled as he closed the door behind him.

After I heard him run down the stairs, I smacked my face against the pillow and screamed as loudly as I could. Not because of what just happened, not because he just slept in my bed, but because I knew all these things meant nothing to him. But they meant everything to me. My scream was not one of happiness, or excitement, or the scream of a girl who was just flirted with by her crush. No. My scream was a scream of pure agony. A scream that had the only questions I’d ever wanted to know the answers to:

“Why the hell can’t I be perfect for him? Why the hell can’t he be mine?”
----

I’d fallen asleep from the amount tears flooding from my eyes. Pathetic, I know. It just kills me to know I’ll never mean anything to Chandler. I’ll always be his best friend’s little sister. And that fact hurts more than anything. Again, pathetic. I know.

Suddenly, the smell of bacon began to waft into my room. As far as I know, everyone is out and Chandler doesn’t know how to--“Chandler!” I yelled as I threw the cover away from my legs and started booking out of my room and down the stairs as fast of  I could. “Chandler Alexander!” I yelled his name again, hoping he hadn’t burned anything yet.

When I turned the corner that lead to the kitchen, I saw Chandler standing with his back to the stove, holding a spatula covered in eggs. “Yes?” he asked as his lips slowly pulling into a smile. Probably from the look on my face.

As I looked over the scene in front of me, my eyes began to grow wide with shock. A plate of bacon sat on the counter, next to it a pile of pancakes, two cups of orange juice, and a bunch of cut up fruit. Did Chandler just make breakfast? “Are you…” I blinked a few times, just to make sure everything I was seeing was real. “Cooking?”

He shrugged, his breathtaking smile growing wider. “I figured you’d be hungry.” Chandler told me like it was the most obviously thing in the world, like I shouldn’t have even asked that question. “I don’t know what your favorite foods are, anymore.” he chuckled that last part as he turned back to the stove. “So I made everything I could think of.”

I was at a lost for words. First he sleeps in my bed, now he’s making me breakfast? What is going on here? “Chandler,” I sighed, massaging my temples as I tried to think. This boy is making my life incredibly difficult. “I don’t know what you’re up to, but whatever it is, just stop.”

“I’m not up to anything.” Chandler said in a serious tone. He slowly turned around, giving me a saddened look. “I just want to make things right. I want you and I to be the way we were before I left.”

“The way we were before you left?” I repeated his words in a disbelieving tone as I slowly shook my head at him. The way we were before he left? “Things will never go back to that!” I saw him flinch when my words came out as a yell. “Honestly, Chandler. Explain to me how could things go ever back to that. What? Pretend like you haven’t been gone for five years? Pretend all those nights I cried over you not speaking to us never happened? Pretend like my world hadn’t crumbled into piece the moment your flight took off? How the hell am I supposed to act like none of that ever happened?”

“I…” he bit his lip, looking up at the ceiling as if the answer to my questions were secretly written there. “I don’t know what you want me to say. ‘I’m sorry I left, Nikki. I love you, Nikki. Please forgive me, Nikki.’? I’ve said all of those things a million times. I’ll say them a million more if that’s what it takes to make you happy.” he sighed. “I don’t want you to dislike me. I don‘t want you to run away from me. I want you to smile every time we‘re in the same room together.”

“I hate being in the same room as you!” I screamed with everything I had.

His jaw tightened. “And why is that?” he asked in a calm voice. But I could tell he was getting upset.

“Because I can’t stand looking at you! You have no idea how much it hurts just to be near you.” I whispered that last part to myself, hoping he hadn’t heard it. What the hell has gotten into me?

Chandler reached across the island to grab my hand. “Nikki--”

“Don’t.” I snapped at him, jerking my hand away the second our skin made contact.

A look of hurt flashed across Chandler’s perfect face. But it was only there for a moment before it completely changed. The look was still sad, but it wasn’t as bad as before. “I’m just trying to fix things, Nikki.”

“Yeah?” I let out a bitter chuckle. I don’t know why I’m being so awful today, even after I forgave him last night. I guess all of the emotions I’ve been keeping to myself are now pouring out. And that is not a good thing. “It’d be wise if you would just stop trying to fix things that are broken beyond repair, Chandler.”

He opened his mouth to say something else, but was cut off by Nick walking into the kitchen from the garage. My ever-so-loving Brother completely ignored me and walked straight to Chandler. Such a great brother I have, huh? “Hey, do you--Oh.” Nick looked between Chandler and I. I haven’t realized it, but we were still staring at each other. “Am I interrupting something?” Nick asked with a frown.

After a few seconds, Chandler snapped his eyes away from mine. “Not at all.” he said, like everything was perfectly fine. As if the past five minutes hadn’t happened. Like we hadn’t just argued about things being awful between us. What a wonderful actor you are, Chandler. “What’s up?”

Nick leaned over the counter, giving Chandler a smirk. “Do you remember Liz?”

When he shook his hair away from his face, and turned to look at Nick, I realized -at some point- Chandler had started to stare at me again. “Elizabeth Lockard?” he questioned.

“Yup.” Nick grinned wider.

Some emotion flashed across Chandler’s face, but it was gone just as fast as it came. He replaced that look with a Chandler smirk. “Of course.”

“Good.” Nick have Chandler an evil looking grin as he said that. What the hell are you up to Nick? “I ran into her today. She got hotter.”

 In that moment, I wanted to puke. It’s not like I haven’t heard them talk about girls before, because I have. I wanted to puke because I hate the girl they’re talking about. She used to come over twice a week to flirt with Nick and Chandler. At the same time. Needless to say, she was kind of a whore back then. So of course they liked her. “Elizabeth Lockard? As in Chandler’s old girlfriend, Elizabeth Lockard?” I asked horror, a look of disgust washing over my face.

“The one and only.” a familiar voice said from behind me. “Hey, Nikki.” she hissed my name like it was venom on her lips. Did I mention she hates me as well? She always has. Even thought it’s extremely petty seeing as she’s three years older than me. That’s right, when she was 14, she hated an 11 year old. Like I said before, she’s petty.

I turned around and came face-to-face with the spawn of the Devil. Elizabeth Marie Lockard. Or ‘lizard’ as Misty and I used to call her. She still looked as evil as ever with her blonde curls slung over one shoulder, eyelashes thick to the point of looking fake, and her signature red lips pulled into a smirk as she stood in front of me, looking up and down. Elizabeth has always looked like a model. Even when she was 14 her legs were long, her waist was curvy, and her skin was perfect. That‘s probably why Chandler and Nick liked her.

“Liz.” I said, nodding my head just to let her know I acknowledge her presence. I know she hates. She always has. Probably because I was always so close to Chandler. ‘Not that anything was going to happen between us.’ I thought to myself.

“So, Chandler…I missed you, darling.” Liz told him in a not-so-discreet flirty voice,  rubbing his arm as if to say ‘he’s mine’. Must she rub in in my face that he prefers her over me?

I let a sigh of annoyance before getting up, grabbing a piece of bacon and walking toward the stairs. I don’t want to watch this if I don’t have to.

Chandler laughed. “Yeah? Good to hear.” I smiled, shaking my head at the way he said that. Chandler has always had a way of wording things so that they didn’t sound rude, even if they were meant to. Notice how he didn’t say he missed her too? “But you’ll have to excuse me for a moment.” he told her. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him push past Liz and Nick to run behind…me? What the hell are you doing, Chandler? “Nikki,” he said, grabbing my hand. “Where are you going?”

I sighed, slowly turning around to face him, giving him a tired look. I am tired. So tired of everything. Tired of us fighting. Tired of every girl being better for Chandler. Even though I hate Liz, I know they look great together. “My room. I‘m not in the mood to sit down here with you. Plus, you know Liz and I hate each other.”

He smiled at me, ignoring what I said about him. Of course. “Hate is a strong word.”

“Yeah.” I nodded, pulling away from his hand and walking up the first step. “That’s why I used it.”

Again, he grabbed my hand. His grip tightening when I tried to pull away. “I know you two can’t stand each other, and I know you‘re mad at me right now, but Nikki,” he gave me a sad smile, pulling my hand into his chest. “Just humor me for today. Stay?” the look in his eyes confused me to no end. Why would he want me down here with them? Why would he even want to look at me after that fight? Plus, we all know once Chandler tells Liz that him and his girlfriend just got into a fight she’s gonna be on him like white one rice.

“No.” I tried to pull away again. But this time, he tackled me, causing me to fall on my back before he climbed on top of me. “Oh god.” I mumbled to myself. Chandler Alexander has slept in my bed, made me breakfast, and now he’s on top of me. All in one day. What is going on in this world? “What the hell are you doing, Chandler?!” I hissed in a whisper, peaking over the railing to make sure Nick didn’t see what was happening. He’d kill us both. 
 
 “Stay.”

I pushed against his chest, trying to get him as far away from me as possible. But I soon realized it was no use. I could’ve been pushing against a brick wall. “No!” I hissed again, trying to claw at his arms.

All he did was chuckle at my weak attempts. “Not an option.” he chuckled again, giving me an evil grin before his face turned serious. “Nikki, stop and listen to me for a moment.” he told me. When I wouldn’t stop hitting him, he pined my arms above my head. This situation just keeps getting worse. “We haven’t eaten together in years. Half of the time, you can’t even look me in the eye at dinner and I hate it.”

“Chandler, darling. The food is getting cold.” I heard Liz yell from the kitchen. I almost gagged at the tone of her voice. She said it like she’s his wife or something.

While he was distracted by Liz, I tried to wiggle from under him. But of course, his focus imminently snapped back to me. “Stop it, Chandler.” I snapped at him, getting annoyed. “We just had this conversion. Now let me go!”

He gave me the evil smirk that I knew all too well. “Stay down here and I will.”

“No.” I hissed, trying to claw at the fingers that were wrapped around my wrist. I have to someone get him off of me. This is the worst possible situation.

“I’m not taking no for an answer, darling.” he told me.

“Chandler.” this time it was Nick calling him back into the kitchen. “Chandler!” he yelled again. There was a three second pause before I heard the legs of a chair squeak. Shit. He’s coming over here.

“Get off of me, Chandler! If Nick sees you on top of me he’ll--”

“I don’t really care.” he told me, smiling more. In all the years I‘ve known Chandler, I‘ve never seen him act like this. He‘s never pinned someone to the stairs and tried to force them into doing something. I‘m pretty sure everyone has gone insane today. “Stay with me, Nikki?”

I opened my mouth to say no again, but I quickly snapped it shut. When he asked me this time, there was something different about his voice, his eyes, everything. He wasn’t ordering me, like he had before. This time, he was pleading. His eyes were pleading. I don’t know if it was the emotions I saw in his eyes, or the fact that my Brother was about to see what was happening. What ever the reason, this time, I couldn’t tell him no. “Fine.”

His smile grew wider as he got to his feet and held out a hand to help me up. “Good.” he chuckled just as Nick turned the corner to see what was going on.

I sighed, glaring at him. The things I do for this boy…

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Author’s Note: So that beautiful boy in the side bar is Chandler. (: Also, how do you think Chandler feels about Nikki? Do you think he sees her as his long-lost best friend? Or is there something more? Tell me what you think! :D

-Lexi Rain