chapter fortytwo

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                                                                                           unworthy

Jess drew her knees up to her chest and watched the advisors file out of the room. The atmosphere was tense.

How could this be happening? How did she fall for a king?

Even once the door was close and they were alone, she kept her eyes on that door. She didn't know rather to stay or go, but she knew she couldn't look at him right now.

"I wanted to tell you. I was out voted. There are doubts on how humans will react to finding out the future king has just turned eighteen."

"Smart."

She knew his silence that followed was him giving her time to adjust to everything. She felt his eyes on her, could practically feel his worry wrapping around her, but she couldn't find it in her to tell him that it was going to be alright.

Was it? Didn't this change everything?

"You are wrong."

Fearing he had read her mind; she finally looked his way.

"Hayden is not the better choice. You are. Even if you take away my feelings for you, you still make the better queen. You proved that today in how you handled them. You always want what is best for everyone. Human and alien. All I can think about is knocking their heads together. That is still all I want to do."

"Only because of me. Somehow, I have broken you. They are right to be weary of me."

"They are letting their fears get the best of them, but you are right. I am different because of you. I am alive now when before I was only existing."

"Which was all fine and dandy when you were just a boy. Not a king."

"Future King. I am only king with you by my side."

"This is so messed up."

His voice softened. His worries easing some. "You are making this more complicated than it has to be. For now, I am still just a boy courting a girl. The rest we will figure out together."

"Kell, I'm serious. I can't do this. It's impossible. You are only eighteen. You're not getting any older anytime soon. People are going to have a hard-enough time accepting you."

"I spend more time than you can imagine sitting here worrying about that. I do not know what the answer to that is. The one thing I am sure about is you."

He was to be king and he actually thought she could be a queen. It would be laughable if it wasn't so damn sad.

How could she have missed what was right in front of her face? The way he always got last say. He banned swimsuits for god's sakes.

She could sit here all day and beat herself up over not seeing what was right in front of her face, but it wouldn't solve anything.

"What else haven't you told me?"

"There was only one other thing I was banned from telling you. Before meeting you, I voted against anyone knowing as well. It might cause undue panic. You must take an oath that you will not tell anyone until it is decided it is the right time."

Crap, that didn't sound good.

Just the tip of the iceberg of what a queen would be expected to do. Confidential information. She didn't know how to keep anything from Julian, and she didn't want to learn how to now.

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