5:35am.
I always woke up with the sun. It's my favorite time of day. Everything is peaceful. I don't have to worry about anything. The world is still asleep, unaware of what goes on in the dark. It gives me time to think. Time for myself.
Sometimes I write, others I sit and watch the sun rise.
Today was one of the days that I sat in my windowsill and watch the sky turn from black to orange and the warm light uncover everything from the dark. The world starts to wake up and the earth feels like it's spinning again.
I took out my phone from under my mattress and check the time.
5:54am.
Turning away from the colorful sky, I walked towards the bathroom, turning on the water and stripping from my clothes. I tried to ignore my body as I washed myself, but it's kind of hard when you're naked and rubbing soap all over yourself.
Finishing my shower, I dried off and got dressed in a plain t-shirt and jeans. I never had money to go shopping, so my wardrobe consisted of plain clothing that would soon be too small. I twisted my wet hair into the towel and check the time again.
6:19am.
I had some time to myself still before he wakes up and I had to start cleaning, so I decided to write.
The time before day is like a different world
Every person still asleep in their homes, unaware of things that go on before they wake
Hundreds of different shades of colors that we never get to see spread across the sky
The fight between dark and light is soon won by the sun and frightens the things hiding in the dark back into their homes until night comes again
Animals that are awake for the night start to fall asleep safely in their homes, curled away from the rest of the earth
The world finally starts to wake up
Shadows fade and hide under parked cars until the sun starts to set once again
One girl wakes up before everything else, watching the sun peek over the horizon and say hello
The sun is her only friend
It's a friend that leaves during the night, but never fails to return in the morning
She watches it turn the sky from black to orange to blue all in the span of minutes
She dreads that blue
When the sky is blue, it means the world has woken up and the earth is spinning again
Her problems have returned and the sun is out of sights, high above her head where she can't distract her thoughts any longer
The world is awake and soon, he will be too
All her days go the same way;
Waking up with the sun and falling asleep with the moon
I closed the book and put it beneath my mattress again, sighing as I started to walk down the stairs. He was still asleep on the sofa, the TV blaring and the floor littered with trash. Turning off the television, I grabbed the trash can and picked up wrappers from things he had eaten last night. An empty box of oreo cookies tucked under his arm, half laying on the couch, nearly falling off of it as I grabbed the box from him gently and threw it away.
The living room was clean, but I also had to make him breakfast. A couple of times I thought about putting something in his pancakes and coffee to make him sick so I could escape, but I was always too afraid.
Opening the cupboard, I saw that we were out of pancake mix, so instead I grabbed eggs from the fridge and made scrambled eggs. I was never allowed to have breakfast like he did. All I was allowed to eat was something small like a yogurt or a banana. Something he wouldn't eat himself.
The eggs got done just in time, because he walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table as I put them onto a plate, along with a cup of coffee. He never thanks me. He barely even acknowledges me when he's sober. At least it's better than when he's drunk.
"We're out of pancake mix, so I made you some eggs." I said, setting salt on the table next to him.
He didn't speak, just nodded once and continued to eat.
I took a granola bar from the cupboard and walked up to my room again, waiting for him to call my name in a way that is barely audible over the sound of the TV. I had a maximum of an hour before he was blackout drunk again, ready to beat me and scream until his throat is raw. The clock ticks by slowly, and I hope for it to go faster.
I just want it to be morning again.
It isn't long before my name is called, but not in the same manor that it usually is. I walked down the stairs with caution, terrified of the change in tone.
"Yes, dad?" I asked, walking into the kitchen to see his back turned to me, washing up his plate.
My heart raced. It was beating so fast it could jump out of my chest at any moment.
He turned off the water and dried his hands, then spun around to face me. His face seemed calm, which was never a good sign.
"What have I told you about letting us run out of beer?" He asked in a calm voice, his arm folded across his chest.
My eyes widen and my heart beats even faster, so fast it feels like it stopped.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was gone, I'll go to the store right now and buy you some more, I'm sorry it won't happen again" I rambled, scrambling to get my wallet and shoes.
"You're right, it won't."
I stopped and turned around, confused. He took a step towards me and looked at me with cold eyes.
"I-"
My sentence was cut off by a sharp slap to the face, then arms grabbing my shoulders and throwing me back into the wall. I tried to cower away as he came at me again, but he yanked me up by my hair and pinned me against the wall, gripping my throat with so much force that no air is able to get through.
"How many times are we going to have this conversation? How many times have I told you to never let me run out?" He seethed, gripping even harder on my neck.
I couldn't choke out a response, so he pulled me back from the wall and shoves me into it again harder than before.
"Answer me!"
I tried to suck in any air that I could manage, but his death grip around my neck was not letting up and my vision was starting to go black. My mouth opened and closed like a goldfish, no words or sound coming out. He released my throat and I collapsed to the ground, unable to hold myself up. He took me by the wrist into the living room and kicked me away from him with his foot, taking any air in my lungs out again. My mind was racing.
I'm going to die.
Stars dotted my vision, and another kick to the stomach only doubles the amount I was seeing.
"Never, ever, disobey me again. Got it?"
He hauled me up by my hair again and threw me down, my head hitting the corner of the coffee table. With another few kicks to the side, he stormed into the kitchen, and leaves me on the floor, choking on my own blood. I coughed and trier as hard as I could to stay awake. My head was spinning and my lungs felt like they were on fire, my breath shortening by the second. His heavy footsteps got louder and I tried to stand, trying so hard to get away, but his hand wrapped around the back of my shirt, preventing me from moving any further. Something hard hit my head and glass shattered around me, my body falling limply to the ground, shards of glass poking into my skin. He stomped to the door, throwing it open and slamming it shut behind him, my eyelids too heavy to keep open and darkness becoming all of my vision.
YOU ARE READING
sunrise || m.h.
Fanfiction"Girls like me don't run away from home." Matty laughed. "Girls like you also shouldn't be talking to guys like me." I watched as he took a drag of his cigarette and blew the smoke back out of his mouth. "Girls like you shouldn't have to be fake ha...
