First Night Bloopers

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Brielle was determined to lose her virginity to the man she loved that very night.

It was a damper because he apparently didn't seem to be in the mood. Amanda's voice echoed in her head.

Rubbish. Show him your sexy self and he'll tun putty in your hands.

Brielle put on her sexiest lingerie and pulled up her skirt as high as she could without being too obvious. Jack was in the bedroom working on his laptop.

Putting on her high heels and making sure her tiny dress revealed way more than it covered, she she approached him. There was no way he could escape her charm tonight...

"So," said Brielle in a sultry voice as she sat down beside Jack, arching her back and crossing her long legs.

"So?" he asked without looking up from his laptop.

"Hmm" she purred. The leg show wasn't working in getting his attention. She tugged down her dress a bit, so it revealed an ample amount of her chest.

You're mine now Jack. How could he resist the cleavage?

Turns out he could, by simply not seeing her at all.

"ahem." she cleared her throat loudly.

"What is it honey?" he said still not looking at her. "I'm kind of busy."

"Tch" she said irritably. She decided to try one last time, "Isn't it hot Jack? I feel like taking all my clothes off."

"Why don't you just switch on the air conditioning?" he remarked as he continued to type away. Brielle rolled her eyes. This guy can't take a hint.

"Idiot." she muttered. "I thought guys liked getting laid. Maybe Amanda was right. You probably are gay."

"Whats with the murmuring? Can't hear a word you're saying." he said looking up from his laptop and Brielle beamed at him. Her joy was short lived as he pulled out his phone and started tapping away.

"Ugh." she sighed tugging her hair in frustration as she got up and left.

Jack scratched his head in confusion as he tried to understand what had happened. "Women are so weird."

It was a good thirty minutes of pondering after which Jack had a brainstorm.

"She was craving attention. Maybe she's hungry. I'll order her a pizza." he said giving himself a pat on the back. "I'm such a great boyfriend."

***

"Honey," he said surprised to see her fast asleep on the couch. "Pizza is here."

She stirred and opened her eyes a peek. "What?"

"Pizza, love. You're hungry right?" he said twirling the box in his hands. "This is what you wanted right?"

Brielle sat up irritably. "No." she said snatching the box from him. "I wanted to have sex with you, but you wouldn't give me your precious time. I'm wearing practically nothing and you still won't see me. This is making me sexually frustrated. You know what? I think I'll just make out with the pizza guy instead."

"Actually it's a pizza girl, and I'm straight." came a female voice from the door. "That'll be 20$ please."

"Coming!" said Jack as he blushed a deep red as he rushed to the door with his wallet.

***

"So you wanted to make love?" Jack asked when he returned.

"no shit Sherlock" she said turning away and biting a piece of the pizza. "at least the food is tasty."

"I didn't want to rush you." he explained.

"We've been together for 2 months. Make a move already." she said swallowing her third slice.

"You eat more when you are upset." he commented and Brielle fought the urge to whack him on the head.

"idiot." she said as she felt a tingling on her stomach. "Wh-what are you doing?"

Jack caressed the soft skin of her legs slowly making his way to the space between her legs. She blushed furiously.

"So insanely sexy." he said as he licked her earlobe sending shivers down her spine. "Sorry for being so slow. I want to kiss you everywhere."

"E-everywhere?" she repeated feeling stupid as her breath turned ragged.

He moved to kiss her neck and sucked at the crevice making her moan with pleasure.

"Bedroom..." she said huskily.

"You're wish is my command." he said carrying her bridal style into the bedroom, his work completely forgotten.

***

"And here I thought you were gay." she said airily as they lay after making love.

"WHAT?"

***

A/N: Just had to make a funny one. Your thoughts?

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