03. A letter undelivered

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Five years later...


"The wind nips at my skin as I sit on the cold white ground. The flowers I've planted have died just like us. The rain pours down on me not caring that I'm trying to write to you.

It's been five years. A fucking painful, excruciating five years with so many downfalls and so much heartache.

My chest still feels hollow. The same as it did the day everything in my life completely derailed and snatched my heart straight from my chest dragging it away with you.

I know I'll never be able to give you this letter, but it helps to write it down, my counselor suggested it. I write to you every day.

Did you hear that bay? I have a counselor. You always told me I needed help with my anger problems. So in honor of you, I have been seeing a counselor and it sure does help a lot fucking more than I thought it would.

I've been offered a contract to fight for UFC. IT'S FUCKING CRAZY RIGHT? I would have never guessed it.

But I haven't accepted the offer yet. Even though I know you and I will never be together again. I still feel like I need to talk to you about this before I go through with it. But I can't and it kills me.

I think it's just my fucking luck that when I did have you in my arms I wouldn't talk to you...But now that I'll never see you again...I want to tell you everything. I still love you, Baylor. I always will. Be good princess, - Ash"

I stare at the letter in my shaking hand as a tear falls down my cheek. I don't know why I keep torturing myself by writing these letters that will never be delivered. But I just fold it up in an envelope, write my name on it, write it out to my sour patch kid, and stick it in an old gym bag in the back seat of the jeep. The bag is over half full with letters and other things that I saw that reminds me of Baylor.

Why did I have to ruin the one fucking thing I ever truly wanted in life.


I walk in the door to my cabin, the cabin that I was supposed to live in with Baylor, but instead, it's empty. Alone. Heart-wrenching.

Why do I even still stay here? It's just a constant fucking reminder of what was ripped away by one haunting shot that I swear still echoes through these halls in the middle of the night.

Am I purposely torturing myself?

Maybe I should. It doesn't matter now anyway.

My phone rings disconnecting me from my dreaded mind and I lazily dig it out of my pocket.

"It's Hill."

"Hill it's Mark there's an amateur fight in Ohio you in?"

"Yeah, sure whatever. When?"

"This weekend."

"Kind of a short notice you think? It's Thursday."

"That's why I already booked you a flight. It leaves at 6 am. See you there."

The phone clicks off and I run my fingers through my tired curls and head to my room to pack. I guess I'm going to Ohio.


"Flight 203 leaves in fifteen minutes to Ohio."
The speakers' boom through the airport as I sit in this chair debating whether I even want to go to this damn match.

Once the fifteen minutes have passed and the doors open I take my seat and begin to get some sleep. That is until a little girl comes and takes the empty seat beside me and starts talking.

"Oh. My. Gosh! Asher Hill! I wachded all your fights on my iPad! I want to be a fighter when I grow big just like you!"
She coos and I can't help but laugh and I open my eyes to look down at her. Her dark blue eyes, filled with awe, are striking against the mocha color of her hair.

"That's awesome

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"That's awesome. You can be whatever you want to be. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
I smile at her, almost familiar, blue eyes and give her a wink. She giggles and sits up excitedly.

"Sweet! I'm gonna do it! You can watch my fights when I'm big like you! Why are you on this plane anyway?"

"I have a fight."

"What! I want to go! My mommy has to let me!"
I laugh at the excitement of this little girl, she's so adorable.

"How old are you?"

"I'm this many!"
She says as she holds up five fingers.

"Well, I think that's plenty old enough for you to come. If your mom and dads okay with it I'll even pay for your tickets how's that?"

"That would be awesome! But I don't think I can go. My mommy hates you."

"why would your mommy hate me?"
How can someone hate me without knowing me. Maybe it's an ex-fling.

"I don't know. She don't tell me nothing."

"Well does she know you're sitting next to me?"

"No, I'm with my auntie. My mommy has works for a few weeks so I have to go back to Ohio to stay. That's my aunt over there."
She says pointing to a girl passed out in the seat a row down behind us. I can't see her face from under her large straw hat but I see the blonde curls that fall down her shoulders.

"Well does your aunt know that your mom hates me?"

"Yes mommy and her tell each others everything that's why I had to wait till she went asleep to come talk to you!"
I can't help but laugh a full-on laugh at this little girl as she puts her small hand over my mouth and tells me to shhh.

"You gots to be quiet! I'll beat you up if you don't!"
Did this little girl just say she'll beat me up knowing I'm a fighter?

"You are hilarious, kid. What's your name?"

"I go by Ash it's like your name!"
She smiles and I force one back even tho my heart is breaking.

"Yea. Just like my name. You should probably go back to your seat."

"Yea you should probably get some rests for your fights. You'll need it."
She says before scurrying off to her seat. Did a five year old just insult me?


A/N; hey guys!!!!:)

So what do you think about Baylor?

Im sorry guys! Don't hate me! Please keep reading!!!

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