supernova: gravity (11th doctor)

The Impossible Astronaut (pt 2)

"Time isn't a straight line," The Doctor flicked some console levers up, spinning around as he kept working. "It's all bumpy wumpy. There's loads of boring stuff like Sundays and Tuesdays and Thursday afternoons... But now and then there are Saturdays-- big temporal tipping points when anything's possible," The Doctor walked up close to River, leaning in for a second. "The TARDIS can't resist them, like a moth to a flame."

He finally went over to the TARDIS monitor, everyone following and looking at it also. "She loves a party, so I give her 1969 and NASA, because that's space in the sixties, and Canton Everett Delaware the third, and this is where she's pointing."

"Washington D.C., April the eighth, 1969. So why haven't we landed?" Amy asked.

"Because that's not where we're going." The Doctor moved back around the console again.

Rory was almost relieved. "Oh, where are we going?"

"Home. Well, you two are. Off you pop and make babies. Nova, you literally have an entire other life-- and you, Doctor Song, back to prison. And me? I'm late for a biplane lesson in 1911. Or it could be knitting. Knitting or biplanes. One or the other." The Doctor carelessly flicked at another lever and defeatedly plopped down on the pilot's chair, sitting back with his legs crossed and a hand over his face, the last of his playful mirage disappeared.

It was not as if he tensed up now-- he was tensed up before, only now it was a different kind of tense. He was not tense with ambition and excitement for whatever adventure would happen next. He was tense with frustration.

Everyone stared at him silently and cautiously-- afraid of what he would say, like he could explode at any moment. "What? A mysterious summons. You think I'm just going to go?"

No one said a word. The moment that passed gave him our answer.

"Who sent those messages? I know you know, I can see it in your faces." Amy and Rory shared a look. The Doctor very obviously noticed it. "Don't play games with me. Don't ever, ever think you're capable of that."

"Just trust us, Doctor." I tried, daring to take a step forward.

"Yeah," Amy helped.

The Doctor approached me slowly, standing right in front of me and studying my face hard-- as if trying to make a decision. He often did this when he thought I was lying, or when he thought something was wrong with me. I continued nervously, but still stood tall. "You need to do this and you can't ask us why."

His eyes narrowed. "Are you being threatened? Is someone making you say that?"

I thought I had been doing a pretty good job of keeping up my own morale, forcing myself through this despite the Doctor's newfound distrust in me, his possible permanent death, and the fact that I had no idea who I was or why I was here. But out of everything-- the thing that hurt me the most was the one that could be literal at any given moment-- the threat of Prisoner Zero and the Silence in my mind.

I might have been able to fix all this a long time ago if it weren't for that-- or at the very least, I might have been given a choice. If I was allowed to tell him everything I knew since the beginning-- then maybe he would have always trusted me.

But I couldn't help the fact that I wasn't. And I couldn't help the fact that in that moment, hearing those words made me cry.

I sharply looked down as tears began to fall, not being able to bear looking at the Doctor any longer. I couldn't tell who was hurting who-- or if it was even either of our faults in the first place. All I knew was that I was hurt.

"Is someone threatening you?" The Doctor asked Amy and Rory sternly, louder, almost angrily, turning to them but not moving away from me. A shiver ran down my spine.