distract him; phan + troyler

chapter 11

a/n fair warning, i wrote this when i was really sick, and i kind of hate it, so i may delete it later. thanks.

dan's pov

stumbling down the hall to the canteen i feel my heart start to skip. each beat is fast, with a few lengthy pauses. i know that the second i reach my destination, i'll have to make a hard choice. i can go sit with phil and happily chat about my most favourite things, or i can go over to troye to face whatever secret he's been keeping. honestly, neither option seems too appealing, i'd rather have some time to just sit and think. i know i can't do that though, i need to progress on.

soon enough, i find myself in the midst of teenagers and chaos. hormonal kids scurry around for somewhere to sit, shoving food down their pathetic throats and yelling to their friends as they do so. i wrap my arms around myself and paint a disinterested look on my face. i spot some bright blue eyes though and decide to make my way over there. people shift away from me as i trudge along, questioning looks puncturing my hard gaze.

"dan," troye mumbles smiling. "can we go somewhere to chat?"

i watch amusedly as tyler's face screws up into a hard glare. he places a firm hand on troye's shoulder, forcefully pulling him backwards a few inches, away from me. troye exhales annoyedly, pushing tyler's hand off his shoulder. "it's nothing tyler, we're just talking."

i look back and forth between the two, seeing the invisible tension circle them. a metaphorical rubber band holds them together, but troye is struggling to stretch it. "we'll be right back," i assure tyler, making a snap decision to just go with troye and see what happens.

troye and i hastily walk out of the room, his head down, eyes trained on his feet. i do the opposite, hardening my stare and glancing around the room to make sure no one is following us. that's when i see phil, his eyes look sad and he's biting his lip. i mouth an apology at him, but he ignores it. he shoves his hands into his tight jeans pockets and shakes his head dismissively. i want to go after him, tell him that i'm sorry about the confusion, but i don't. instead, i let him fall from my distanced grasp. he slips away like sand between my fingers.

troye grabs my wrist, pulling me along. we reach an empty classroom, hidden away from nosy eyes and other pesky people. he closes the door quietly, turning to look back at me. he silently reads my expression, which has now softened a bit. i waste no more time and jump straight to the point, anxious to leave and find phil. "will you please explain now?" i huff.

he bites the inside of his cheek, struggling to find words. "i messed up," he says finally, stuttering slightly. he twists his long fingers, fidgeting uncomfortably. he picks at the skin around his nails, afraid of something, probably my reaction.

i reach out and grab his hand, taking it into my own gently. no matter what, i'll always be stuck with my overwhelming instinct to comfort him. i rub the back of his hand with my fingers, tapping the surface softly, like a broken piano. "what happened?" i say finally, breaking the short silence.

"i miss you," he says looking up to meet my eyes, his own pooling with worry and regret. i sigh slowly, momentarily at a loss for words. we remain quiet for a little while longer. my fingers continue to stroke his hand, a way to cope with the tension.

"so?" i say finally, meeting his gaze again. he hesitates a moment before reaching forward, lightly grabbing my chin. before i can react, he's leaning forward. i should move away, but i don't. i let his lips caress my own. suddenly, he's kissing me. even being struck by lightning couldn't compare to the excessive buzz humming within my body. it's just as flawless as i remember. i get so absorbed in our past, and so drunk with all the beauty of it that i kiss back.

our lips move in perfect synchronisation, effortlessly and wonderfully. i'm so gripped by his touch, that i deepen the kiss. forcing his tongue against mine, pulling him closer. our stomachs press together, transferring warmth. he pushes me backwards so i'm pressed against a desk. he breathes slowly against my mouth before pressing them back together. i sit on the desk, making him lean forward into me. he continues to amaze me with his intoxicating scent.

finally, and reluctantly, i pull away, gulping down air. he pauses for a mere few seconds before connecting his lips to my neck, trailing hot kisses along my skin, and back up to my jaw. "fuck," i mumble, knowing that this won't end well. he ignores me and places his teeth against my collarbone, knowing just how much i love the pain. he nibbles at my skin, creating a harsh, fiery sensation that i can't get enough of. his hands pull at my hair, making me moan quietly with passion.

"don't do that," he breathes, chuckling quietly. "don't make those noises." i feel a tiny smile raise onto my face and splashes of red colour my cheeks. his dusty rose lips find their way back to mine slowly, forcing me to oblige when he opens his mouth again.

he bites my lip carefully, placing a hand against my chest. he traces patterns up and down until he reaches my waistline. the small suspicion that we could be caught only seems to fuel our immature passion. troye's hand finds its way under my shirt, scratching his blunt nails against my skin. i find myself crying out. he smiles suavely, placing his mouth back on my neck, sucking and biting to leave little purple marks. i rest my head against his shoulder, bunching up the front of his shirt in my hands, muttering profanities into his ear.

muscles in my stomach tighten, and he moves his hand down to the edge of my jeans, tracing patterns along my waistline. "stop," i mumble, gripping the back of his neck and breathing against his hot skin. he ignores me and continues tracing the sensitive area, knowing full well what it's doing to me. i can feel the front of my jeans tightening just the slightest bit. i gulp quietly, praying he doesn't notice. he must though, because he chuckles again. he moves his hand away, pretending to accidentally brush the tips of his fingers against my crotch area. my breath hitches like he's just set my body on fire.

he pulls away suddenly, making me moan in protest, as well as embarrassment. he shakes his head apologetically. "we have to stop now, if we don't then," he pauses to sigh quietly. "i just don't really trust myself."

i shut my mouth, blushing in realisation of what has just happened. a small red dust coats his cheeks as well. "oops," i mumble humorously, trying to ignore the nagging in my mind of how stupid this is.

"i should be the one saying that, i've made your neck into a bit of a mess," he gestures to a nearby cupboard with a mirror on the side of it. i stand up and walk over to look at the damage.

"oh," i mumble, pulling down the hem of my shirt to get a better look. a few lilac blotches are scattered along the left side of my neck, trailing up to the edge of my jaw. darker ones are placed along the edge of my collarbone, they're a deeper colour of purple with a mixture of red.

troye laughs quietly, wrapping his arms around me from behind. i lean my head back against him reluctantly, letting myself rest against the side of his comfortable neck. his skin only has a couple of red marks leftover, which will quickly fade. "well that was different," i admit my distaste out loud, quickly regretting the earlier events.

he whirls me around so that we're facing, staring into my eyes cautiously. "dan?" he stays, presumably to make sure i'm really paying attention.

"yeah?" i say, my voice a little hoarse due to my rising anxiety. i'm already nervous about what's going to come next. what will i say to phil? and what will tyler do? they'll probably team up to murder me.

"i love you," he breathes out quietly, searching me for a reaction. i'm surprised, though i've heard it many times before, just maybe not in a while. i place a hand against his cheek, stroking it slowly to stall for time. i should apologise and walk away, i should avoiding being hurt again. i don't though, instead i'm stupid. i do exactly what he wants, even though it feels like a lie. i protect him, and dig a hole for myself.

"i love you too."

a/n i'm so cringey kms

ew ew ew ew ew ew shoot me ew ew