30 ↝ the little voice & my big heart

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Johnny Orlando
2 July 2017

•••

I hear someone knock along my door, and I brush down my clothes before answering.

"Come in!" I yell out, exhaling when I see it's only Mackenzie.

"Hi." I breathe again, taken aback by how stunning she looks in a plain white dress. God. Her legs are long and her waist is thin– she's perfect for me. She's unique and different, always has been, and I wish that all girls strived to be that way.

"Hi." She says, calmly and without emotion. My smile falters.

"What's up?" I ask, genuinely concerned.

"Oh, um nothing... I just came to say hi?" She says, finishing with a question, and I knit my eyebrows together.

"Come on Kenz, what's really up." I question, patting the space next to me. When she comes to sit down, I freak, because her whole body language tells me that she's unhappy. Do I hold her or leave her? I question myself. Leave–no, hold. Oh god. Why am I thinking so much? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Because you care about her idiot, a little voice says inside my head.

I never had to do this much thinking with any other girl. It was easy come easy go– only spending time with them for two weeks tops. With Mackenzie, it's different. I'm treading on this ice, ice that seems like it's going to break at any moment. How do I show her that? How do I tell her that I care for her more than I have anybody else, ever?

Ask her out idiot, that voice in my head says again.

Should I?

"It's just– I, well, I was wondering about us." She says shyly, looking up at me. She looks so vulnerable that I can't help it, I put my arms around her.

"What about us?" I ask, feeling the beating of her heart.

"Well, it's just that you're going away next year and you probably won't come back to the beach house again, and I just want to know if, well– I need to know what this is, if it's real. I don't think I could deal with never seeing you again–"

"Woah woah woah, hold your horses." I say, mind reeling. "Where's this all coming from? I love you Mackenzie, of course we're going to see eachother again!"

"So– this isn't just a summer fling?"

"It never was Kenzie." I smile half-heartedly, slightly wounded that she would ever think that. "I've loved you since forever."

"Okay, I get that now but I–"

"You what? Name it, it's yours." I breathe.

"I need to know– just, um, what are we? Are we just friends? Or more than that?"

"Well, Is it classed as friendly if I do this?" I smile cheekily, leaning forward to give her a long kiss.

"Not– not quite." She breathes slowly after we've pulled away.

"Well, Mackenzie Ziegler, would you like to be my long term girlfriend?"

She looks up into my eyes, obviously trying to gauge whether I'm serious or not. I wiggle my eyebrows, and her face turns into one of pure happiness. My heart pangs, thinking about what she's going to say next.

She has my heart in the palm of her hands.

"I will." She smiles, and it's not long before I capture her lips in the longest and most emotional kiss of my life.

•••

[562 words]

*edited

summer of '17 • jenzieWhere stories live. Discover now