Pink and Heartbreak

Drifting Apart

Jisoo's POV

"Nope..." I said as I returned the necktie where I got it. 

It's past 4 pm and I am at the mall trying to do some shopping. I was just about to go home when I saw the stacks of a necktie on the corner and for some reason, Jin immediately crossed my mind.

 A month has already passed since we've started dating and I must say, we're doing a very poor job in being a little sneaky behind everyone's back. 

We at least appreciate the boys for not asking questions about our relationship.  Though I can always catch Jimin being playful with Jin while smirking at me, obviously reminding us about what happened that night.

I would always catch V pointing at me and Jin while doing a little heart.

After almost thirty minutes of choosing, I gave up and decided that it's time to go home. 

I was on my way to get my car when my phone rang. I immediately tap the answer button when I saw his name flashed on the screen.

"Hello?"

"Hi. Where are you?" My heart fluttered just by hearing his voice.

My left hand immediately clenched in front of my chest.

Jisoo, he's not here. Control yourself.

"Shopping," I said, "Are you done with your schedule?"

I heard him chuckle. Heaven. "We haven't even started."

"Is that so?" I smiled. Just the sound of his laughter is more than enough for me to fight my longing for him.

"Ah, I'll call you back, okay? I need to put some makeup. Take care, babe"

Before I can even respond, the line already ended.

My hands dropped to my side.

For some time now, I've trying to figure out my feelings. There always comes a time that I just suddenly feel inferior about me having a relationship with him. 

It's not that I am not happy but I feel like there is something lacking.

Come to think of it, I'm actually not really sure what he likes. Heck, I don't even know what his favorite color is. 

Because they recently had their comeback, which is a bomb, by the way, me and Jin rarely see each other. Even our exchange of messages had been limited.

Every time he tries to call me, I can sense that he's already tired and probably in need of sleep so I'd always make some excuse like I'd be at a meeting so he can have a little rest.

I'm not even trying to be a martyr or what but I guess I'd be hurting more if I see him struggling and barely getting any sleep.

Even before I met him, I never actually imagined myself being all sweet and cuddly in a relationship. I am never envious whenever I see young couples having fun together.

Maybe that is why it's easier for me to get used to this feeling of being alone even after being in a relationship.

I don't want him to feel the burden of making time for me, for his job and for his fans. When I agreed to be in this relationship, I knew that it will hard but of course, I won't deny that I'm a little hurt. 

To be honest, I'm starting to think that we've rushed too much instead of allowing time for us to really know each other.

One time, I tried searching some videos on YouTube and dozens of fan-made videos of him being shipped with a lot of other idols showed like, c'mon, those girls are so pretty and skinny. Though I'm not the insecure type, let's all be honest, I'm not really a looker either.