I neither own these characters or the literary universe in which they live, though there are a few new faces and places that are of my own design. I neither make nor intend to make any profit off of this writing, but indeed I expect die poor, clutching a legal pad and pen to my chest, a half written chapter scribbled on the fading yellow page.
Jedi Apprentice AU, some spoilers.
If you are seeking happy endings and fluff, turn away now.
No betas, therefore the errors are all mine.
Prologue
Most people would think it started at Bandomeer. Most people would be wrong. The reasons went further back than that fateful trip. They went back before Bruck, as far back as his tenth nameday, but he didn't start building until Melida/Daan. It wasn't until after Cerasi died, after the Jedi returned to the tiny war-torn planet, after his master, Qui-Gon Jinn, accepted him back, that the box came to be. On that day he renewed his vows of loyalty and obedience to his master and he made a promise to himself. He promised he would never give Qui-Gon Jinn a reason to doubt him again. Never. He knew he was getting yet another chance at becoming a knight. A chance he did not deserve, but he would make himself deserving. He would become worthy. He would turn his master's pity into pride he only needed time. He would do whatever it took, whatever was asked of him both without question and without fail. He owed this man, this master of the Order and the Force that much. So, he would take his feelings and his failures and tuck them away, place them into the box, out of sight so that he could be what he needed to be. He would allow his master to craft him into a proper Jedi and, in return, he would give him the padawan he deserved.
A perfect padawan.
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"Again."
Obi-Wan's muscles trembled as he stepped back into position eleven of the kata. He took a deep breath and began the moves demanded by this stage of the routine, each position more strenuous than the last. Requiring a high degree of both strength and flexibility The Dance of Sincerity was usually only taught to senior padawans, but his master believed he was ready and Obi-Wan was determined not to disappoint him.
He had just stepped forward into a deep lunge for move sixteen when his master's rumbling baritone stilled his movements.
"Hold!" Qui-Gon said as he walked slowly around Obi-Wan's frozen figure. The stance was deep and low and Obi-Wan's thighs were aching horribly, but he gathered the Force around him and held himself steady refusing to allowing the trembling in his legs that his body seemed intent on producing. Qui-Gon stood before him and folded his hands into the large sleeves of his cloak.
"You've overextended yourself leaving an opening in your defense and," he said with a gentle push to Obi-Wan's left shoulder that sent him tumbling down gracelessly to the mat. "And you are off balance- an easily exploitable weakness in combat."
Obi-Wan rose from the mat stiffly and assumed the eleventh position again. His master opened his mouth to say something, but then shut it without offering anything further. He stepped back away from the mat, a clear gesture for his apprentice to continue with the exercise. Obi-Wan began again moving slowly through the next five moves only to be stopped again at the sixteenth stance.
"Enough," Qui-Gon ordered with a wave of his hand. "We will continue this tomorrow."
"Master, I can do this."
"Of course you can and you will, Padawan, but you are exhausted. Little more can be accomplished in such a state. You will be better served by rest and return to this tomorrow," his master intoned. Obi-Wan remained frozen in his lunge, but his eyes were on his master's when he spoke.
