SO COLD (18+) currently editing

Chapter 76.8

SO COLD

There was no time to have shower sex. It was a quick step-in, a squirt of shampoo, a slather of soap, and then a step-out. I wrapped a towel around my body and a cotton t-shirt around my hair and headed to the master bedroom. The shower was still running when I left, jets of hot water hitting Cole's back as he finished up. I sat on the bed of crumpled sheets, and slid a hand under my pillow for my phone. I powered it on and missed notifications pinged in succession: a phone call from Irvin, a WhatsApp message in the family group chat Seth had set up; a YouTube link to a gameplay of Halo 3, a Snapchat from Trevor, and two iMessages from Irvin; the first of his location (Burger King), and the second to come and meet him.

I called him.

"You here yet?" he answered the call. "It's been fifty-eleven days, um-teen hours since I've been waiting for you to come. Where the hell are you?"

"Where are you?"

"Are you a fucking parrot? So you're not coming?"

"No, I'm at the apartment. You should've been here hours ago. There's a meeting, it's about the mayor. Not showing up will make you an even bigger target than you already are."

"Skype me in."

"Do you like being bullied?"

"FaceTime then."

Cole walked in, towel wrapped around his waist, hair slick and wet. He unzipped a suitcase one of the men had carried in from last night. He sifted through the packed and folded clothes, pulling out a red cropped sweatshirt and ripped jeans his father would disapprove of. He inquired and I nodded, and gestured to the underwear in a side compartment.

"Don't be stupid. I'll call you a taxi, you better get in."

"Are you going to wipe my ass, too? Wipe my tears and kiss my grazed knees? How about listen to me tell the sorrowful tale of how my uncle killed my mother and my father ran from me as a child? Where's your office, therapist? I'll give you a bell."

"There's a certain time and place for your bullshit, Irvin."

"Hey. Quick question," he said light-heartedly with intents entirely opposite, "how much do I pay you for being my counsellor? Sure, I can't throw money at you like Cole can but you don't need to suck my dick for me to write you a cheque for a straight hundred. Plus, and this is a real winner, I won't force you to stay in a relationship with me. Hell. I want to cut ties already."

"Shove your fucking cheque up your ass." My voice was harsh. My skin was flushed with a bad temper. "What you need to do is see a real doctor. I'm getting tired of your mood swings, you bipolar fuck. Swallow a couple of meds. Might do you some good."

He laughed. "Bipolar?" I touched a sore spot. "You're suffering from PTSD and you supress every emotion possible so you can be a good little housewife for Cole. Blow him. Make him food. Keep the house nice and tidy. It's too late to want to call it quits so why not pretend everything's alright, huh, Shay? Remember your flashbacks? You think the same is going to happen when you're pregnant with his child? Waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. Drinking yourself stupid so you can avoid what hurts the most. Scared of being alone with your thoughts. Wonder what it's like being in a relationship with your father. Gotta be crazy."

"What's he saying?" Cole's temper was brewing. He was eager to use any excuse to lash out at him.

What I wanted to say next, what was on the tip of my tongue, was something I knew I would come to regret. I was infuriated and felt my rage spiralling out of control. The truth was inflammatory no matter how exaggerated it was. I inhaled, nails indented in my palm. "You're nothing more than a fucking pussy running from–"

The phone was snatched out of my hand. "I'm going to do you a favour, boy," Cole rubbed a hand over his jaw, splenetic and tempestuous with a violent rage, "when I find you, I'll bury you in the same fucking grave as your grandmother." He cut the call and tossed the phone on the bed. Without a glance to me, he said, voice hard. "Get ready. We're leaving soon."

Eighteen minutes and something seconds later: We were in the SUV. I sat in the passenger seat whilst Cole drove. He grew irate in the heavy traffic, heavy-browed and downturned mouth. "Stop touching the fucking radio." He swore to Trevor as he reached to change the song for what must've been the sixth time in five minutes.

Trevor withdrew his hand from the gap in the middle of the seats slowly, small smile disappearing.

I glanced at him through the rear-view mirror, sighed and switched the radio off. The radio station was playing nothing but Rihanna all day to celebrate women's achievements or some bullshit, and Trevor couldn't stand her.

The SUV moved ahead at a snail's pace, like the wheels were in a surge of wet concrete that was hardening in the heat. Silence wedged itself in through the cracked window, a heavy passenger, interrupted by beeps from impatient drivers in the distance.

My fingers skimmed across the keyboard on my phone, typing out a quick message to Isiah that I'd be in town to stay for a couple of days when I found the time to get off work. I exited the group chat and slid my finger down the unanswered chats. Under Vyacheslav's message asking about which brand of bread to get from last night was Irvin's chat. I wanted to make amends but I was still irritated and irascible. It would take a while before angers subsided although forgiveness was inevitable from both parties.

I hit the home button to exit the app and then locked the phone. I reached for the plugged-in charger and connected the wire to my phone and set it in the compartment under the radio. I yawned, looking out of the window at the commercial buildings and second lane of traffic. Maybe I could take a short nap before we got to James' place...

"Find the boy."

"Easy–" Trevor started.

Tiredness vanished. "Shut the fuck up, Trevor."

"Remember when we first met?" Cole locked gazes with Trevor through the rear-view mirror. "You remember what I did to you?"

Trevor nodded and smiled slightly. What the fuck was wrong with him?

"I want you to do the same to him. Only worse. Teach that boy to fear me. I want his loyalty and his obedience. Put a chain on him, drag him through broken glass in the neighbourhood. Whip him. Electrocute him. Whatever it takes, Trevor, you understand me?"

"Of course," Trevor nodded once more, mouth red as he sucked in his bottom lip, and then smiled. His eyes were confessions of his newly-given freedom and the extent of his sick depravity. It was unsettling to witness.

I reached for my phone to warn Irvin. Cole's hand shot out, grabbing my wrist. "Don't." He warned gravely, hardened expression. "I've told him countless of times to not act out. I've favoured him, provided homes for him, helped him at his lowest moment and yet, the bastard treats me with disrespect, he does as he pleases with little regard or respect to anyone else. I've tolerated him for you but my patience has run dry. I will beat the insolence out of him until he is nothing more than a bruised slab of meat, and you'll stand by my decision, Shay. The boy must be punished."

"Talk to him. Let me talk to h–"

"The time for talking is long over. It's either this or I kill him. Is that what you want, Shay?"

My mouth clamped shut.

*** 

 irvin is bipolar bdw