Behind Classroom Doors (student/teacher)

XXXVII- Said "Fun Week" Part II

Wednesday

We didn't end up going to the hospital but Shawn stayed with me the rest of the night. I was scared Dean would come back but he never did, he just sent me an apology text before saying goodnight. I wasn't allowed to go to sleep because Shawn thought I might have a concussion. Naturally, this morning we're both absolutely exhausted. "How are you feeling?" He asks me as the sun begins to come up.

I drink my third cup of coffee and stand up to make another pot. "I feel like I've been hit by a train." I admit to him. My arms are sore and my eyes feel heavy,

He didn't make me go to the hospital, or threaten to call the police about Dean. I think at one point he gave in trying to convince me it was a good idea. When I leave Dean it's going to hit him where it hurts, it's going to be sudden, and painful, and it's going to leave him as helpless as he made me.

In the meantime I'm going to try to stay in a public place for the most part. It helps knowing that at his mom's he won't do anything to hurt me. "If I have any more my head might explode." Shawn rejects the coffee I place in front of him. He's had more than me. "I called in sick today so we can take the day to make sure you're okay."

I look down at my half empty mug and sigh, "Do you think I'm stupid for not letting you take me to the hospital yesterday?"

I think to anyone else I'm an idiot, but to me I'm just afraid. I'm afraid of everyone knowing what's been going on behind closed doors. I'm afraid of people finding out about Shawn and I and his career being over. I'm afraid that Dean really won't let me leave him. Those things make me more scared than any bruise I've ever received from him.

"I don't think you're stupid. I don't necessarily agree but I know you have your reasons." He stands up and pours the contents of his mug into the sink before rinsing it out and placing it in the dishwasher. "Just know that I'm not going anywhere."

I smile softly, walking over to him and wrapping my arms around him so that I can rest my head on his chest. He hugs me back, "I wish I had met you before Dean."

I know things might've turned out differently between us if Dean and I never got together. Shawn doesn't say anything, he just continues to hold me there. After a while we pull away and he looks at me, "Maybe we should go to my house, that way no one comes here looking for you and finding me." I know he mainly means Dean but my parents could also come home at any given time.

I nod, "That's a good idea...I'll go get my stuff."

"I'll help." I don't protest as we make our way up to my bedroom.

I barely stayed a minute in here last night. Just long enough to get a pair of pants and head back downstairs to Shawn. I look down to see the pants Dean forced off of me crumbled on the floor. I pick them up, looking at them longer than normal before tossing them in my hamper. "Are you okay?" He asks behind me.

I turn to look at him, he's leaning against the door frame with a tired look on his face. "On second thought maybe you should go home and get some sleep."

Shawn walks over to me and grabs my shoulders, "There's no need to feel bad, this wasn't your fault."

"Isn't it though? None of this would've happened if I had tried harder or given myself to him." I know that's not exactly true, I tried hard at first. I never left Dean's side but I can't help but feel this way.

"Dean doesn't hurt you because of something you did. He hurts you because it makes him feel powerful. Nothing you do can change that." I guess it just hurts to know that he wasn't always so bad. We had a good life together before this year, we thought we were going to make it as a couple.