Fix Me // Jamilton

Chapter 1: Roommates and Panic Attacks

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Bullying, Self Harm, Panic Attacks
- ALEXANDERS POV -
College. I start college today. I can't even believe it. I pull out my phone, checking the email sent to me regarding my room number. I hope it's near my friends. I hope I don't get a crappy roommate. College is my chance to start over. To party, make friends, be happy. I hope I can start over. Snapping out of my thoughts, I begin to walk with my bag in hand up he stairs in my dorm complex. I see Hercules Mulligan, Marquis de Lafayette, and John Laurens standing in the hallway. They catch my eye and wave me over, laughing. I jog over to where they stand.

"Hey, Alexander! College life, man! We made it!" Laurens laughed.

"I know, it's crazy! What room are you guys in?" I ask them, hoping someone is in my dorm with me. There's only two people per dorm here.

"Well, mon ami, Herc and I are in room 273," Lafayette answers.

"How bout you, Laurens?" I question.

"Room 278 with Peggy!" He says, happy.
I internally cringe. I don't have a dorm with anyone I know most likely. I push down my anxiety and instead ask if Angelica and Eliza are together.

"Yep. They actually requested a room together. They wanted to sneak Pegs in but she decided she wanted to be 'a spontaneous college girl' and get a dorm surprise, as she so eloquently put it." Herc told me.

"That's funny," I laugh. Peggy really was the most spontaneous of our friend group.

"I'm going to head to my room, but I'll see you guys later I guess!" I wave and say goodbye to everyone as I walk to room 270. Unlocking the door, I'm hit with an odd smell.. cheese? I walk to the tiny kitchen to see one other than my living nightmare cooking macaroni and cheese on the stovetop.

"JEFFERSON? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!" I scream out. Thomas Jefferson jumps, as he didn't hear me come in.

"Well, well, look at that. Alexander Hamilton, the one and only, is my roommate." He chuckles. I remember high school. Suddenly, I'm running to a room and throwing my bag down, locking the door. The flashback begins.

- FLASHBACK -

"Oh, Hamilton! Are you ready to get the crap beaten out of you, you little gay bastard?" Jefferson corners me in an empty hallway, as his crew, James Madison, Charles Lee and Aaron Burr gather around him, all with smirks on their faces.

"L-leave me a-alone Jeff-f-ferson!" I cry out, fearing what he'll try today.

"Hmm, I don't like that tone. Aaron, get his stomach. Charles, his legs, and James get his arms. I want to hit him in his face!" He begins to laugh and Aaron punches me in the stomach, knocking the wind out of me. I fall to the ground as Charles kicked my shins, and I can't hold on to anything since James is hold my arms in a position I can't move from. Jefferson slams my head into a locker, then hits me in the nose.

Black dots swim around me and I begin losing consciousness. Jefferson laughs and mocks me, asking if mommy's little bastard is going to keep crying. I didn't even know I was crying until now. He slams my head again and I black out, just after hearing him say:

"Just go kill yourself Hamilton. The world would be so much better without your worthless ass in it. Go join your whore mother in hell."

- FLASHBACK OVER -

I'm sitting on the bed, curled up when the flashback ends. I realize I'm crying, and there's urgent knocking at my door, along with quite a few pieces of paper being slid under it. I pull myself up, shaking and grab the papers. The knocking stops. I turn the note over.