The Heart Thaws In Its Own Time (Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff)

Chapter 1 - It's A Nightmare

This story is based off the MCU timeline— within the year post Captain America: Civil War —and characters based off Chris Evans as Steve Rogers/Captain America, Scarlett Johansson as Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow, and all other Avengers in the MCU to this point in time.

Important points to remember: this is not Natasha Romanoff from Captain America: The Winter Soldier... she has matured in her relationship with Steve (aka when she makes fun of his age, she's doing it with a solid relationship behind it and out of fondness from years of friendship) and the other Avengers. This is also not post-thawing grumpy Steve who is still trying to figure out the world around him. He's had at least 6 years to live in this century, get over Peggy, adjust to things, etc.

This is a slowly unfolding story for those who are Romanogers fans and wondering what Steve and Natasha are up to after the Civil War. Slow, slow burn.

I do not own these characters (I just write them as a way to love them and care for them).

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-August-

No time to spare, I have to think fast.

Steve immediately recognized the dire situation his friend was in. Bucky needed help and fast. Steve heard himself yelling "Bucky! Hang on! Grab my hand!" It felt as if it was taking a million years to get those words out of his mouth as he climbed out the door of the speeding train into the cold air, knowing that there was no way Bucky could hang on much longer.

He climbed and climbed the wreckage of what used to be a train in one piece. With every grab of his hand for a cold piece of metal, Bucky felt further and further away. Steve pressed on, carefully but urgently.

His mind was racing. There were memories of walking home from school with Bucky, playing in the alley together, graduating high school, standing at a fence and watching girls walk by... the conversation they'd had after Steve's mother was buried.

Steve could hear Bucky's voice and see his face as Bucky told him he didn't have to survive on his own. Bucky, dressed in a suit and tie, made sure his friend knew he was not alone.

"I'm with you to the end of the line, pal," Bucky had said so pointedly.

The memory was so rapid-paced.

Steve snapped to when he heard the sound that would change his life forever. The awful lurching metal sound as the grab bar peeled away from the side of the train... the grab bar that was the only thing between Bucky and certain death in the icy depths of the canyon below. Bucky frantically reached for something to grab onto and Steve kept his hand extended to his pal. But as the time had seemed to stretch out just seconds before, suddenly, it ran out completely. Bucky dropped off the speeding train like a rock into the canyon, his arms and legs still reaching out for something to hang onto as he fell. Bucky's face contorted as his mind tried to comprehend what was actually happening to him.

Steve watched.

All he could do was watch.

He watched as Bucky fell and fell. And then, there was no Bucky. There was no sight of him in the least. It wasn't real, it couldn't be.

Though the sound of the train riding along the tracks was surely loud enough for Steve to hear, there was nothing but the deafening silence of the buzzing in his ears as he lowered his head down and tried to imagine life without his best friend. He was still hanging onto the side of the train, his head and chest pounding from the adrenaline rush. The air entering his lungs felt more and more difficult to breathe in. Hot tears stung at his eyes. The air grew colder and heavier. The sting rose in his chest as he tried to take a breath unsuccessfully. The panic grew in him until he started to wonder if he was falling too. The simple act of breathing in oxygen escaped him until he gasped and struggled for air, much like the asthma attacks he suffered in his younger days. It was all too much to bear.

Steve's eyes opened to darkness with just a hint of light from a window filtering into the room. It did not immediately register where he was. His breathing was labored and he felt as if he was struggling to free himself from cement. He sat up quickly and without a thought, his right hand reached down and pulled away the comforter and sheets he was entangled in.

He could still hear his own breathing and his heart beating.

Pounding.

His body went still and silent as he recognized that he was having another nightmare. Steve's stomach turned and he felt the sweat that covered his entire body. He had no desire to go back to sleep. He looked over to the alarm clock. Four o'clock... that's too early even for me to start the day. I can't go back to sleep.

Steve rose from his bed and headed for the bathroom. He peeled off his t-shirt and boxers and started a hot shower. He stepped into the scalding water and pressed his palms to the wall in front of him, angling his head down and letting the water flow over his neck and shoulders. He wasn't sure what was worse; watching Bucky die over and over in his nightmares or seeing the pain on Bucky's face when he was trying to figure out who he was and the life he'd led over the past seventy some years. It made Steve's chest swell up thinking about how broken Bucky was. Thank God he was safe in a cryogenic chamber nearby.. It wasn't the same as having him awake but at least he was safe, thanks to King T'Challa.

He finished up his shower and even though his body felt clean, the hot water couldn't take away the problems plaguing him on the inside. Bucky wasn't just a friend, he was family. And he was the last real family Steve had. Everyone and everything he knew from his old life were gone. All gone.

Steve settled into an armchair in the bedroom and began reading. There had to be something to take his mind off the hell that he lived during the night. Lately, the nightmares were plentiful and they varied in content but one thing was always the same; they were disturbing.