Lie Until You Laugh

20- Dinners

I still have no idea where I'm going. Its 4:45 and I still have no idea. It's seriously driving me insane.

Stella is in the game room with Mason, Brian, Andrew, and Liam as they listen to Mason complain about her terrible roommate, Ada, because she's now back in the dorms and apparently, she's annoying the crap out of Mason when they're in the room at the same time. Stella invited me to go with her to the game room, but I declined and gave her a simple excuse. I didn't tell her that I have plans tonight- with Penn, no less. I'm not much of a liar, so I don't know why I didn't tell her where I was going. I guess I just don't want her to make a big deal out of it, and I know that when she finds out, she will make a big deal out of it.

I know that this is a big deal, me going somewhere with Penn dressed all fancy and whatnot, but I try to tell myself that it's nothing. I try to tell myself that he's just messing with me or something, but I think it's more than just a prank to get me in a dress or something. I'm seriously nervous and I don't want Stella freaking out too, because then I'll just be even more nervous.

I have fifteen minutes to get to the fountain and even though I'm sitting on Stella's bottom bunk fully dressed, I'm still debating with myself whether I should go or not. I'm wearing a knee-length chiffon dress. The bottom is black and the top is white with the middle section being made up of black and white beads that match the beaded neckline that wraps around my neck and leaves my arms bare (borrowed from Stella, of course). My shoes are black Mary Jane heels and my hair is done in soft curls and I have a pinch on both sides spiraled into a bunch in the back.

I know that I lost the bet and that means that I have to meet Penn at the fountain, but so many things run through my mind about what can go wrong if I really do go through with this. It could be another one of Gianna's plans or he could be kidnapping me to sell me to a sex trafficking ring or something. I don't want to go.

I'm tapping my foot on the carpeted floor and I squeeze my small black clutch in my hands until my knuckles are white with tension. I don't want to go, but what will he do if I don't show up? He has the ability to make my life a living hell considering he's my dance instructor. He even has more power now that we're going to have one on one sessions every day for the next week. Well, not really one on one, but it's one on three and that's basically the same thing.

That's the idea running through my head as I push myself onto my shaky legs and I start to move towards the door. I try to build my own cloud of confidence like Penn does so naturally, because I want to intimidate him just as much as he intimidates me, but I just feel like I'm stumbling over myself. Instead of a cloud of confidence, I am walking on a cloud of clumsiness.

Shutting the door behind me, I walk down the hallway, telling myself that the only reason that I'm actually doing this is because of what he can do to me in practice, even though I can't deny the swirl of excitement that's racing through my chest and stomach right now. I don't know why I'm excited and I try to tell my body that I'm not excited, but it doesn't listen. It's only five, so it's still bright outside as I walk down the sidewalk with the black chiffon swaying and brushing past my knees and my Mary Jane heels clacking along the pavement.

I can do this. I tell myself. Penn isn't pure terribleness. He can be nice sometimes. I can do this.

I flash back to all of the nice things that he's done in hopes that it'll help me feel better about this. He bandaged my face after I was thrown into the pool. He suspended Ada and Darren for throwing me into said pool. He calmed me down after I had that nightmare and then he laughed when I pushed him into the fountain. He saved my phone from Anthony. He got my mind off of things at the competition (he's good at that, distracting me from my problems). He raced me yesterday and even though he won, I think he did it for fun, not to show me up or anything.