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Sienna's POV

Lately, everything felt the same. I'm always, always having to stop and think. I'm always taking breaks, deep breaths. I was getting tired of it. I am falling for Nathan. I can't blame him for his crazy life but I can hate it. It's not his fault, he got drugged, which is literally the craziest thing that I've ever even heard of happening to anybody I knew.

Other than my moms cancer.

I was just finding it so hard to always having to take pauses. This was my life. It's probably time I took more control over it.

The next day, Hailey went home deciding to finally confront Scott. I wished her good luck and in no time Nathan was knocking on my door. Was it really noon already? I opened the door and he silently walked in. We sat at the kitchen breakfast counter staring at each other, both of us unmoving. "Look-" we both started and quickly silenced ourselves, realising we were talking in sync.

"Look.. Nathan. You can be with whoever you like. Just because I'm the mother of our kids doesn't mean you have to force yourself in any way to.. like me. I want us to be honest with each other." I said eventually. He grabbed my hand his eyes holding.. hurt?

"No Sienna you have it twisted. I want you. That's not me forcing myself in any way. I promise I just.. The other night was horrible and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't believe me but I can't let go of this. Not us." He finished and I painfully took my hand away from his.

"I don't think that's a good idea Nathan. I'm sorry. I just don't think right now, with all of the stuff going on in your life it- it wouldn't work." I said and he stared down at his now empty hand.

"I understand. I'll be back tomorrow and maybe we can discuss whatever arrangement we come up with, for who gets the kids what days." He stood up suddenly and my eyes widened.

"Nathan why not discuss it now?" I questioned but he was gone. Crap. I didn't realise breaking off whatever we were would result in us having to split times for the kids. It was inevitable I guess. Nathan and I are a fantasy.. Something that I'll probably never get.

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