Chances & Changes

Defenseless

Kayla's P.O.V

After Lucas leaves out of my room, I turn on my heels and go straight to my closet to find something to wear. Man I don't know what came over me. One minute I was awake, the next I'm knocked out sleep. Going through my closet I look for something to wear. I'm not going anywhere special. Plus comfortable is the best way to go. Laying my clothes on my bed, I check my phone and take it off vibrate. I notice I have 3 new messages. The first one is from Dad, just checking in on me; I shoot him a quick text back saying I'm still alive and that I'm going out with Lucas and his brothers. The second text is from Taylor telling her to call her. I'll call her when I get out of the shower and dressed. Grabbing my bath and body works, I walk in the bathroom and check my last message. It's from Lucas.

Mr. Famous: HURRY UP SLOW ASS!
Me: I'm taking my time now since you wanna rush me sir, so get comfortable
Mr. Famous: Oh, you don't want me to get comfortable shorty
Me: What you mean?
Mr. Famous: I mean if you want to see me in nothin but my Calvin Klein boxers and my socks...

I felt my face get hot. The image flashed in my mind

Me: Bye.

He really knows how to get on my nerves. I start my shower and get. As the hot water runs over my body, I think about my dream. Well a nightmare. The same nightmare I've been having for the past 2 years since mom passed away. But this time it was different. I was in the same darkness as usual alone curled into a ball. The loneliness and silence was unbearable and all of a sudden I would start to fall through the darkness. Then I would cry out for my Mom and she appeared trying to grab my hand from the light. And when I would be finally close enough to reach her she would disappear and I'd be back in the darkness. I'd be left sobbing crying out for her. But this time instead if my mom trying to save me from the darkness it was another lady.... She was so beautiful. She looked so familiar, like someone I just met. Call me crazy, but she looked like she could have been Lucas's mom. I open my eyes and continued to wash my body. She couldn't have been. After I was done, I shut off the shower and dry off. But what if it had been his mom. I know Lucas's mom wasn't in his life because he was staying with his Aunt but I wonder what happened to her. Did he lose her like I lost my mom? Whoever it was I felt like she wanted to say something to me but as soon as I touched her hand she disappeared. A tear slid down my cheek. Why am I always left alone.. in the darkness.I snap out of my train of thought when I hear my phone ring. It's Dad. I wipe the tears from my cheeks, clear my throat and answer the phone.
" Hey old man."
" Hey baby girl, I got your text."
" Oh yeah, is it cool that I go chill with Lucas for today? I think we are just going to the mall or somethin".
" Its fine... only of you invite that girl you said you met at school."
" Yeah Dad, Taylor is goin with me I'll be straight."
" Alright Kay Kay, I'm working on this big case so I probably wont be home until 1 or 2 in the morning. But I'm sure you'll be home before then."
" Yeah Dad, I will."
" Ok, baby girl see you later"
" See you later Old Man, I love you". I hung up the phone and got dressed. I shot Taylor a text telling her I'll call her when I figure out where we are going. ( Outfit Below)

I look in my mirror at my hair. I decide to leave it down in my wild curls. I grab my wallet and my keys and walk downstairs. I walk into the kitchen and check the alarm system on the side door. Then I walk into the living room. Lucas is sitting watching "Wild N Out" chewing on my starburst gummies that were on the table. I roll my eyes.
" I'm ready." Lucas jumps and turns around. Then he looks me up and down.
" Ummm, can I have my face back?."
" Uh... Yea.... I.... Lets go shorty". He gets up and walks out of the door. What was that all about. I shrug it off and walk out after him checking the alarm system on the front door. I walk across the street and hop in Lucas's car.
" So where are we goin'?"
" Armon and Trey want to go to the mall and out to eat or somethin".
" Ok, I'm inviting Taylor to come wuth us"
" That's cool shorty". We start driving and I plug the aux cord into my phone. I go to pandora and the 90s R&B radio starts to play SWV Weak. One of my favorite songs. I look out of the window and move my head to rhythm a little bit. The ride is silent all the way to the mall. When we get out of the car I see Trey standing in the parking lot. He sees me and waves. We walk over to them. Lucas shakes up with the boys and they give me hugs. We walk in the mall and I hear a loud voice calling my name. Taylor of course.
" KAYLA!!!" I laugh and shake my head at her as she jumps on me. I look over at Armon and look at him looking at Kayla like she's a large fresh McDonald's Fry or somethin.
" Tay, these are Lucas's brothers Armon and Trey. Armon and Trey this us my friend Taylor."
" Its nice to meet yall, I'm a big fan"
" It's nice to meet you to Lil ma", Armon says and licks his lips. I roll my eyes. Lucas and Taylor start talking while we walk through the mall. It feels weird hanging out like this.  With a group of people. I feel so out of place. Taylor links her arm in mines and squeezes my hand. I think she can tell I'm nervous. I try to settle down some. We go into Footlocker and I buy some Jordan Retro 6's with a matching shirt. Then Taylor drags me into this new store called Akira and forces me to buy this dress. A dress I have no intention on wearing.... Ever. But I buy it anyways so I won't have to hear her mouth. We continue to walk around and I'm actually having fun. Trey and Armon went into Macy's and started to imitate the mannequins with Taylor. Then Lucas almost fell down the escalator when we we were going up to the 3rd floor. I haven't had this much fun in I don't know how long. Me and Lucas are walking side to side behind Taylor and the boys. All of a sudden a group of girls rush up to Lucas knocking me over in the process. " I'm fine, not that anyone cares...", I mumble as I'm about to get up and brush myself off. Taylor turns around and sees me about to get up.
" Ummm, so no one is going to say sorry for knocking her over", as I grab her hand as she pulls me up. One of the girls I recognize from school sucks her teeth and rolls her eyes at me. Savannah, the Queen B of the arts.
" She shouldn't have been in the way", Savannah says as she turns her attention back to Lucas. I look at Taylor with a look as to say, " It's cool girl, Im straight" but she completely disregards my look.
" And like I just said someone needs to apologize for knockin her over because she clearly was walkin with Lucas."
" And like I  said, her ass shouldn't have been in my way." Then Savannah looked me up and down.
" Plus, if it was really a problem she would have spoke up about it instead of standin here lookin like a lost puppy." Her friends started to laugh.
" Is it a problem sweetheart," she asked me with a smirk on her face. I just looked at the ground.
" I thought so with her scary ass". Just as I was about to run away Lucas spoke up.
" Aye move around me with the drama. Kayla and me was walkin mindin our own and thats what yall need to do go get y'all some business". Savannah sucked her teeth then turned around and glared at me. She pushed past me with the rest of her goons. Armon and Trey had to hold back Taylor before she ran after Savannah. I was stuck. I felt tears of rage running down my cheeks.
" Shorty why you aint say nothin you just let them girls punk you. You need to learn how to stick up for yourself because we not always gone be around to stick up for yo ass". His words made me even more mad. I ran until I couldn't run anymore. I walked into this old Italian restaurant and sat in the back booth where no on could see me. I put my head in my arms. He doesn't know what he's talking about. I've never stuck up for myself. Any time someone would bully me I'd sit down and just let it happen. What's the point? It's going to keep happening anyways. My words don't mean anything to anyone. So why should I waste my breath when I'd probably get laughed at anyways. I'm so tired of this. Feeling helpless.  I wish I could defend myself but how can I when I feel so defenseless?....

Hey guys thankyou for continuing to read, vote, and share my story. Please comment to tell me how I'm doing. Thank all of you for reading and tune in for the next chapter!! - shy 💜