Chapter 14: Hoping and Hospitals

4.2K 93 361
                                    


- THOMAS' POV -
Alex and James just got home from the park. I truly am happy that they found each other after all these years. We sit for a while, James and Alex telling stories to me about their childhood. It seems like Alex is getting a little better. But he crashes on the couch as soon as James leaves and I know it was too good to be true. I just want him to be happy. I want him to not have to struggle so much. I go through every single idea in my head to try to help him, even making a list on my phone. But I keep going back to one. One I know he'll hate, but it's the only way to really help: therapy.

I open Google on my phone and type:

anxiety/depression therapists in NYC.

That's a good start, I think to myself. Hopefully I won't have to drag Alex there kicking and screaming. I click on a link for a fairly cheap but high rated therapist. She has a fairly open schedule from what I can see. There's also a quiz to see how often you'd need to come. I fill it out with Alex's problems and it tells me 2 times a week. That isn't too bad. I keep looking on her page before deciding it's the one for Alex. I scroll through some social media for a little while until Alex stirs and wakes up.

"Hey, love." I say quietly. He rubs his eyes and sits up slowly.

"Whatcha doing?" I had switched from Instagram back to the therapist website. It's now or never, Thomas, I think to myself. I draw in a breath slowly.

"Alex, I really want to help you get better. I was thinking of every idea I could, and I found a cheap but good therapist. I know you probably won't want to, but it might be the only way..." I say. His eyes widen but he nods his head a little. He clears his throat and says,

"I've been thinking about going for a while now, I just didn't know what to do and then I found you and I just... it's so hard without someone and I can't--" his rambling was cut off by his own tears, streaming down his face. I envelope his gently shaking body in my long arms.

"Shh... it's ok. I'm here, and I'll stay with you at therapy whenever you want, and I'll help you through this. We'll get through this, baby, it's ok." I tell him, rocking like when he has a panic attack and petting his hair a little. He wipes at his face and smiles at me.

"God, what did I do to deserve you?" He asks and I just smile.

"You stayed alive, and that was enough." I smile sadly this time, knowing the time we would be spending together over the next few months at therapy would be hard on him. I hug him again and kiss his hair.

"We should go to her office and set up an appointment. Is that alright?" I ask and he nods. I stand and and grab his hand to assist him off the couch. I lock the door and grab my phone for directions. Her office is a 15 minute walk, and I figure we still need the fresh air, so we walk. Since we live near Central New York City, there are easily accessible things everywhere. I'm just lucky we don't have to take a 40 minute drive to a clinic for an hour long session. We get to the building after walking in silence; I knew Alex wasn't really in the mood to talk.

"Ready?" I ask him, as we stand hand in hand outside a small, light blue building. He nods again and we walk inside. It's nice. There are medium sized black chairs against the windows in the waiting room, and a big gray desk with a nice looking woman. There are about 10 doors, which I assume hold people being counseled. I walk up to the desk and Alex is a little behind me, looking nervous and shy.

"Hi! I need to set up some appointments for my boyfriend, Alexander?" She smiles at me and nods, handing me a clipboard, pen and a couple papers.

"Our main therapist is free every Wednesday and Saturday from 2 to 3 pm, so we recommend that for him. If you could just fill those papers out, I can finalize everything and we can talk payments!" She says and I nod, thanking her. Alex and I walk to the chairs and sit down. I fill out the papers, occasionally asking him things.

Fix Me // Jamilton Where stories live. Discover now