thirty-six

39K 1.6K 1.4K
                                    

"Why?" I asked, watching him carefully as he stood up, distancing himself from me.

"I can't" he simply replied, looking back at me somewhat fearfully.

"Do you not want..." I started asking, but he stopped me midway.

"It's not that. I want to, but I just can't. I'm sorry. I can't."

I stood up as well. "But why?"

"I can't... I can't tell you."

"Why can't you tell me?" I asked again, not understanding his behaviour.

"I'm sorry" he whispered, before getting out of the room and, when I heard the front door slam shut, I knew he had also left my flat.

I stood there, motionless, listening to every sound of the silent flat. I couldn't understand what had happened, where it all had gone wrong.

I got out of my bedroom and made my way to the kitchen, where I was met by two cups of by now cold tea. I ignored them and walked to the couch, sitting there and staring at the black screen of the television. After a while, I heard my phone ring from where I had abandoned it on the kitchen table. I sighed and stood up, going to fetch it. I looked at the caller ID, it was Niall. For a few seconds I actually considered ignoring the call, but I knew I couldn't do that. And that's why I picked up my phone, accepting the call.

"You left quite fast, are you okay?"

"Do you actually care?" I asked him.

"What do you - of course I care!" He replied seemingly shocked.

I said nothing.

"Hey, I know that I've been a bit concentrated on other things lately, but I promise it's not gonna be like this forever. I'm just in a new situation and I don't know how to cope with all these changes. I'm still me, and I'm still here for you whenever you need me. What's wrong?" He added.

"Honestly, I don't think you're the best person to ask for relationship advice to at the moment" I replied, sitting on the couch.

"What do you mean?"

I moved my hands on the soft texture of the cushion. "I mean, you're cheating on your husband and you're dating no one other than Zayn Malik, that's what I call a disaster."

"Zayn is amazing. I like him. You should give him a second chance."

My fingers met something cold, and hard. "I'd never do that. Maybe you should just get your shit together and talk to Liam about what's going on" I replied, looking down. I picked the thing up and I frowned. It was a black phone, one that I had never seen before.

"As if I'd ever do that! No thanks, I'd like to keep my house at the moment."

The phone buzzed in my hands and the screen lit up, as a message popped up on the lock screen.

Gemma: maybe you should tell her.

"I'll call you later" I told Niall, and closed the call, not waiting for him to say anything.

Gemma: you know she'll find out eventually. Might as well just tell her.

Gemma: there's no reason to keep it secret. It won't stay like that for long anyway.

I stared at the phone in disbelief. It was Harry's. I had to give it back to him, right away. I didn't take long in standing up and walking out of the house.

I looked at his door as I stood in the hallway. Did I want to meet him? I felt a pang in my chest as I realised that no, I didn't want to even see him. I went back into my house, taking a sticky note and writing "you forgot it on my couch" and attaching it on the back of the phone. I went back out and I put it face down in front of his door. Then, as I had done so many times before, I rang his doorbell and ran back into my house. I shut the door and leaned against it, waiting for the familiar sound of his door opening. Not that I really cared in that moment, but a phone is a priced possession and I just wanted to make sure he actually got it.

I looked at my living room. It was so empty. I should've got a pet. I wondered if Harry liked animals. I mean, I knew he had had a dog, and he seemed to get along quite well with Berry, but would he have liked a pet? Thinking about it, a pet could've kept him company in that lonely apartment of his. I knew I couldn't just get him one though, I should've asked first. Would he have been against it? He seemed the kind of person that could've used a cat to snuggle up to him at night.

I shook my head, deciding to ignore my ridiculous thoughts, and I went to sleep, thinking of a way to fix whatever had happened.

•  •  •

The next morning I woke up relatively early, even though I had to work only during the night. I looked at the clock, it was 7am. It was way too early to try to talk to Harry. But then again, I knew by then that he had some problems sleeping, and that he often woke up really early. I just had to try my luck for that day.

I stood up and walked to the kitchen, not wasting time in opening the cupboard and retrieving some sugar packets. I smiled a bit, how fast had I fallen back to our old habits.
I searched for some kind of string, and when I found a pretty red one, I tied them all together just like I would've done with a present, making a little bow on top. I took a piece of paper and wrote "I'm sorry for pushing you yesterday" on it, and slid it under the string.

I walked out of my house and I knocked on his door, ignoring the doorbell as to not wake him up in case he was sleeping. I waited, but nobody came to open. I knocked again, a bit louder in case he hadn't heard me. This time I heard some steps coming closer, and I prepared myself for what was about to happen, both of my hands holding the sugar packets right in front of me.

He opened the door, and looked at me confusedly before noticing my little gift. He took the sugar packets from my hands carefully, so that they wouldn't have slipped out of the string I had tied them with. He took out the piece of paper, that was about to fall, and read it. For a few seconds, he did nothing. Then, he looked at me, and gave me a small smile.

"Come in" he said, moving to the side.

I complied, and he closed the door behind me.

I turned around, looking at him. He was studying me silently, waiting for me to say something.

"I'm sorry for yesterday. It's okay if you don't feel like telling me now. I understand if you're mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you, I was just overwhelmed. I'm sorry for walking out on you like that" he replied, before walking to the kitchen and putting the little gift I had given him on the table. "Thank you for returning my phone, I hadn't even noticed that I had left it at yours."

"You're welcome" I replied lightly, following him.

"Nice string, by the way" he said, trying to lighten up the mood, and I laughed.

"It was all I could find, don't judge me. Now, have you already had breakfast? What about I make some tea?"

"I'd like that, we could try these brand new sugar packets."

"Oh my goodness" I replied as I started searching for the tea bags, and I heard him laugh behind me. His laugh was beautiful. It had grown to be one of my favourite sounds, even if I didn't hear it often. Maybe one day I would've been able to make him laugh like that all the time.

While I was heating up the water, I heard him come behind me. I gave a fast glance to the side, and a strand of my hair fell over my eyes, tickling my nose. I tried to shake it away, but there was no use. All of sudden, it disappeared from my vision, and I felt someone's hands on my hair. I smiled as I felt him tie up my hair, before letting go. After a few seconds, he wrapped his hands around my waist, putting his head on my shoulder.

I put the hot water in two cups and I turned around. "I think I have to go to the bathroom" I told him, "Can you put the tea bags in?"

"Sure" he mumbled letting me go, and I went away.

When I walked into the bathroom, I gave myself a fast glance on the mirror and I smiled a little as I caught the glimpse of a red string in my hair.

Redemption [h.s]Where stories live. Discover now