Up All Night // phan

Eighteen

  The first thing Dan noticed when he woke up the next afternoon was how cold he was. The covers were down at his feet, leaving his whole chest exposed to the open air. He rolled over, wanting to cuddle with Phil some more before they had to officially get out of bed, but found that the space next to him was empty.

  The sun was shining through the open blinds, and Dan guessed it had to be about noon. He lay on his back, a smile tugging at his lips as the events from last night rolled across his mind.

  Dan had kissed Phil. And Phil had kissed him back.

  So what did that make them? Was it only a one time thing, and they were back to being friends? Friends with benefits? He knew it couldn't be possible, but maybe.... boyfriends? He was so confused, and he needed to talk to Phil, about what was going on between them.

  He got out of the bed, kicking the covers onto the floor and going to look for, should he dare call him, his lover? No, that was stupid.

  As Dan walked out into the hallway, he found that it was too quiet. Far too quiet for there to be another person in the place. But he still looked, just to make sure, but not being surprised that the flat was, indeed, empty except for him.

  Surely Phil wouldn't just lead him on like that and leave him the next morning. He wasn't that kind if person, at least from what Dan could tell.

  Maybe this whole thing was just a game. What if Phil just wanted to see how far he could get with me? Dan's mind was over working again. He really needed to stop, or he'd just end up hurting himself.

  He headed into the kitchen, and it was only then that he noticed the piece of notebook paper attached to his fridge. He hadn't noticed it before. He ripped it off of the refrigerator, and opened it quickly, eager to see what Phil had left him with. It was covered, all the front and half of the back, with Phil's handwriting. Dan read it and reread it, his heart sinking as he tried to make sense of the words.

  Dan,
I really have no idea when you're going to see this, but I do know that, by that time, I'll have left and you will have worried about why I disappeared. Please, don't worry about me, I'm perfectly fine. Physically, anyway.

  Last night. Or this morning, really. It was.... really, very amazing, that's the only way I can describe it. I like you Dan. The only way I could tell you was through writing this stupid letter. Cheesy, really, but I couldn't face you, couldn't face the sadness of your rejection. I don't know what your feelings towards me are, but I'm sure they're not a reciprocal of mine towards you.

  So I left. Not, like out of the country or anything. I just thought that you'd need some time, to think. About us. I want us to be friends, I don't even care if you don't like me. I just like being around you.

  If you want to talk, or you need anything, you have my number and my address. Please don't blank me.

                Love (hopefully),  
                                  Phil xxx

  He needed to see him. Right now.

Dan grabbed his phone and left, not even bothering to lock the door. He stepped out into the warm city streets, almost running to get to the boy he loved.

                    **************
Phil's POV

  He'd ruined everything.

  Things were perfectly fine between him and Dan, and he'd just had to go and frick everything up. He was stupid, so stupid, for thinking that Dan could possibly feel the same way, stupid for kissing him like that.

  But he kissed you, Phil. He started it.

  That had to mean something, right? Dan wouldn't just kiss him, without meaning to. He wasn't like that. But that didn't keep Phil from wondering that, maybe he was like that, and he was just too thick to see it.

  Jesus Christ, Howell, your making my head hurt.

  Phil clutched his head in his hands, trying to make sense of everything that had happened these last few days. It was then that he heard frantic knocking at his door.

  "Phil, open the door, we need to talk."

  Phil's heart stopped. It was Dan, Dan had come to his house. He was happy, excited, but also nervous and scared. Why was he here? To reject him, to laugh in his face? To confess his undying love for him? Yeah right.

  "I know you're in there, Phil. Please, open the door." His voice was soft and pleading, and it made Phil's heart break. Had he done that?

  He got up and hurried to the door, hesitating with his hand on the handle. He didn't want to face him, not yet. But he had no choice. He warily opened the door, looking at the floor so he didn't have to stare into Dan's chocolate brown eyes.

  "Phil? Phil, look at me." Dan spoke quietly. Phil looked up, blushing immediately as Dan smiled at him, and he smiled back.

  "Hey." he said. Dan's face suddenly went from happy to somewhat irritated and angry.

  "Hey?" Dan said, louder now. "So, last night, the best night of my life, was, what, a joke or something? Was this note a joke too? I mean, we fucking kissed, made out with each other, almost went further than that! And this morning, I wake up, expecting you to be right there next to me, but you're not. You left me. With a fucking note, which was so stupid! Saying you loved me, and you didn't want to face me, as if I was some disease. Do you know, can you even imagine, what was going through my mind? I thought you hated me. I just, I'm so confused, Phil. So please, for the love of god, could you tell me what the hell is going on in your mind? How do you really feel about me?"

Dan was almost crying, his eyes wet.

Phil stared at him, completely in shock. He'd never heard him yell like that before.

  "Dan, I... I just, I don't know what to say. I like you, very much, but I don't-" He tried to explain, but Dan cut him off.

  "Phil, just tell me, do you like me? As more than a friend?"

   "Yes."

  That simple word hung in the air between them, they were silent, staring at each other, and suddenly, Dan broke into a grin.

  "That wasn't so hard, was it?" he said. Phil laughed as the huge weight of his anxiousness lifted. Dan didn't hate him. That was a huge relief, and he was so glad.

  Dan's POV
 
  This couldn't be happening. Could it? Phil liked him, as much as Dan liked Phil it seemed.

  "That wasn't to hard, was it?" he said, smiling. Phil smiled back, and Dan's heart stuttered at that glorious sight. All that was left to do was ask him, ask him if he would be in a relationship with Dan.

  "So, um.... now that that's all cleared up, uh. Christ, this is hard. Phil, will you be my boyfriend?" The words were rushed, tripping over his tongue, but they were still understandable. Phil blushed deeply, but smiled and nodded.

  "Of course." he said. They smiled stupidly at one another, stuck in this perfect moment. Then slowly, very slowly, Dan leaned forward. He was going to kiss Phil again, but this wasn't just any kiss. This would be what would seal their relationship.

  Phil realized what he was doing, and started to meet Dan halfway.

Their lips were inches from each other, barely brushing.

  And then-

                    ***********
a/n:

okay, the next part is the last, and man, you guys are gonna hate me.