Remnants of the Heart | Kim Taehyung

24: utilise

ACT 2 — SCENE 15
HE USES.

        TAEHYUNG'S MIND is hazy, clouded by worries and things that put him on edge as it always is whenever he comes back from a visit home. Can he still even call it that? He's spent two—almost three—years in Seoul now, and in that short period of time he can confidently say that moving here is the best decision he's ever made. Taehyung doesn't remember what it feels like to associate Busan with the word home. The house he used to live for more than half of his life doesn't seem all that welcoming anymore, not when every time he sets foot in the place, all he's hit with is a sinking feeling of what used to be a warm and tight-knit family. The only time he could cherish his visits is when he spends time with his dog and Haesung who are the only reason why he bothers to visit in the first place. His parents would belong in that category as well if they'd stop forgetting to pay the bills, being so opposed to each other, and stop neglecting their youngest son.

Taehyung wishes that he had cared a lot more back then instead of being the low-key ego-centric person that he was and only caring about which girl he was going to hit up by the end of the week. Maybe he could've changed things and kept them from getting worse. He blames it on high school, himself, and how having puberty hit him right in the face changed a lot of things. He never knew getting taller and having a deeper voice would've granted him such reputation amongst the female population.

One thing that Taehyung doesn't like to admit is that he loves attention like he loves all of his precious sketches back at his apartment. He loves it when people remember his name, gawk at him, give him glances like this one girl who sat several stools away from him did at the bar he just clumsily stumbled out of. At times where he's drowning in distress, drinking had always been his second resort whenever sex seemed like too much work.

Taehyung staggers his way to his apartment building, getting dirty looks from the way he keeps bumping into people without apologizing. He should've thought better than to pay a visit for a couple of drinks, but that plan turned into several drinks because coincidentally the bartender is someone who used to be quite fond of him and his bed. She insisted that he drank some more, even offering to give him a discount. Taehyung knew what she was trying to do, so he scurried out of the place right after he got his needed fix.

He's so tired. It was the longest he's ever spent back home, almost surpassing one full week back at his house. He only did it because it was Haesung's birthday a few days ago and because he needed to make up for the times he didn't come over when Haesung asked him to. It makes him feel less shitty of a brother.

He fumbles for his keys in his pocket, unsteady hands trying to get it into the hole but missing it every time. His drowsiness only really kicks in now and he wants nothing more than to fall face-first onto his bed and just sleep. But the same time Taehyung unlocks his door, the one behind him opens.

When he turns around and finds Seojung in her pajama shorts and a shirt three sizes too big for her, Taehyung's first instinct is to smile. He's grown accustomed to becoming like this when she's around. He's been thinking about her a lot the past week, wondered if she thought about him too. She sneaked into his mind late at night when while lies bed trying to fall asleep but couldn't. He can't not think about her, especially not when he was back in Busan. He didn't really say goodbye before he left, and he always chickened out every time he wanted to text her just to ask how she was doing. Thinks that it wasn't his position to do so and remembers his promise of giving her and Jeongguk space every time he scrolls to her name in his contacts. He was doing both them and himself a favor.

But all of the rules, boundaries, and promises he'd set for himself have gone forgotten for now and all he can think about is how cute she looks in this light. Taehyung's grateful he hadn't drunk that much to get him full on wasted, but also worried because he had quite a lot and certainly enough to make him do the things he shouldn't do.