stars | sirius black

30: The Blame Game

NOVEMBER 13, 1978
The Arroway - Black Household, 5:45 pm

"ARE YOU OKAY? YOU really seem out of it, Padfoot." James said worriedly. Sirius had been staring out the window and he and Peter were starting to get worried. It's been weeks since that faithful day in the ministry and Sirius couldn't stop thinking about what Lucius had told him. What if there really was traitor in their midst? And who could it be?

He didn't want to worry the other guys so he just shook his head and tried his best to sound convincing, "It's nothing. Just nervous, I guess."

"Nervous for what?" James asked, sitting down next to him with Peter following him, sitting down on Sirius' other side. 

"In about three months, I'm going to be a father." Sirius sighed. He wasn't lying though, he was really nervous about becoming a father. The thought always nagged him in the back of his mind. With each day that passes by, the thought became more and more like a reality. 

"Why are you nervous about that?" Peter asked, looking at Sirius with confusion.

"What if I'm not good at it? What if I end up being like my parents?"Sirius said nervously, running his hands through his hair. "I don't think I'm ready for this. I'm really not." 

"No one ever is ready, Padfoot." James said with a small smile, resting a hand on Sirius' shoulders. "I've known you for years now, Sirius. Trust me when I say that you'll be fine."

"Yeah." Peter said agreeing, nodding his head. "You have me, James, Lily, Remus, and Ara. You will definitely be fine. We're here to help you out, it's not like you're going to do this alone."

"Thanks guys." Sirius said, smiling softly at the two. "I really needed that."

"Hold on, where's Remus?" Sirius asked after a few moments. These days it was rare for the four to be apart, especially during these trying times. They liked to stick together as much as possible, believing that there is strength in numbers. The only times they were ever apart were when they are doing things for the order.

"I don't know." Peter said. "He just told me that he had to be somewhere today." 

"Oh. How about you, James? Do you know where he is?" 

"No." James said, shaking his head. 

Something in Sirius' mind clicked. What if he was the one Lucius was talking about?

But Remus could never...he thought. 

Then Sirius really started to think. 

He noticed that Remus wasn't around as much as James and Peter. What if he was a spy that fed Lord Voldemort information about the order? Is that why the death eaters knew about their attacks? Is that why it always seemed like the death eaters were waiting for them every time they would battle? Impossible...

"Hello? Are you still with us, Padfoot?" James asked, snapping his fingers in front of Sirius' face. Sirius got out from his trance and shook his head, "Yeah, I'm here."

"Are you alright?" Peter asked him.

"I'm fine." Sirius said, waving Peter off. 

"I have to go, Lily will kill me if I'm not home by dinner." James said, standing up to get his coat from the coat hook near the front door.

Peter stood up and followed James. "So do I, I'm needed elsewhere."

"Oh, alright." Sirius said, standing up from his chair as well and opening the door for James and Peter. "Stay safe you two."

"We will" James said and Peter nodded as they headed out to face the harsh November air. 

Sirius sighed as he closed the front door with only one thing on his mind: He needed to tell Arabella about this.

__________

"ARE YOU aware of how absolutely mental you sound right now?" Arabella asked frustratedly, rubbing her temples and having a hard time believing Sirius.

"I know it sounds insane, but look at the facts Belle!" Sirius said, pacing back and forth in front of her. "He's not around as much as James and Peter. We never know where he is when he's not with us-"

"You do realize he has a life outside of us?" Arabella asked, cutting Sirius off. 

"I know that, Belle but-"

"No!" Arabella said, standing up and placing her hands on both of Sirius shoulders and looked at him directly in the eyes. "I can believe that there may be a traitor in our midst but I refuse to believe it's Remus Lupin. Have you fully grasped who you're accusing here? Remus is more than just our friend, Sirius. He's our family. You, me, James, Lily, Remus, and Peter are family. We don't do this to each other."

Sirius sighed as Arabella led him to the couch and sat next to her. "I know that this war is getting to you. I know that you are stressed, but we all are. Remus would never do this to us, trust me. It's not like him to do something like this. He is one of the sweetest people I know and believes in this cause much more than we do."

"Alright, Belle. I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I want this to be the last time I hear about this, okay?"

"Okay."

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hey guys! i'm so sorry it's been a while but i'm back and i already have the next five chapters planned and i'm excited to write them all.

prepare for a lot of time skips in the next update bc a baby is abt to be born!

also, i know that Peter starts giving out info to voldy in 1979 but i made a little adjustment for the sake of this story:(

anyways, let me know what you think in the comments and give it a vote if you think it deserve one.

love you lots and i'll see ya when i see ya,
arielle