Buzzed Hearts

90: communication is key

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE night, Camila checks her notifications because her chest feels restless. Laurent has texted her if they could talk. She texts back "When?"

    And in the morning, he's replied with "Whenever you're free."

    So they do. Camila tells him about the first and only guy who hurt her.

    "We were good together, I think. We really were and I mean, like all things, it was rocky in the middle. To be honest, our communicating sucked. I was always unsure where we were so one day I asked him you know, the question and he said he didn't know.

    "At that point I thought okay, we'll talk it out. Thing was he didn't want a relationship all the while calling me 'baby' and I think he didn't want to commit but he wanted to keep me around. So of course it's about why I was around. I didn't want to be just one of the girls he was talking to. Things he said didn't line up to things he did. You can understand why I'm so straightforward regarding things I want now, don't you?

    "So I let it go on. I liked him so much and it was clear we wanted somewhat different things, but I let it go on. I don't think I'm weak for that, I really don't. It's a compromise I was willing to make because I was scared to lose him.

    "People who want to stay, stay. You can't make someone love you and you can't make someone do what they don't want. Love and relationships aren't about that. A lot of times, people are also replaceable and I don't know, I think that gave me some sort of comfort."

    "So how did it go? I mean, how did it end?" Laurent asks.

    "We moved on, I guess. I was so young but I guess no matter how old or mature you are, all relationships are going to hurt at one point. It just really comes down to how much I want to sacrifice because some people really do make you genuinely happy," Camila says.

    "You asked me what I want and I—" Laurent hesitates.

    She lets him think.

    "I don't know, I've never been serious with anyone....So what I'm trying to, uh, say is that I think I want to try that."

    "Okay?"

    "With you," he finishes.

    Camila bites back a small smile. "I know."

    "You know?"

    "You wouldn't have called me if you didn't."

    "So what do we do from here?" he asks, voice shallow.

    "You prove your worth, Laurent King. I'm done chasing you," Camila answers. "I mean, anyone can figure out what goes from here."

    "Okay. I'm sorry if I hurt you. I'll work on it when I see you next. When you're not busy, of course."