Chapter XXX

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I opened my eyes to meet Alice who was sitting crossed-legged at the end of my bed.

‘Hey.’ I muttered.

She smiled widely. ‘Hey!’

I looked around. ‘Where are Lily and Sirius?’ I asked her kindly.

Her smile grew even wider. ‘Sirius got send out because he yelled at Madam Pomfrey and kept calling her Poppy, Lily got send out because she showed’ she used her hands to make air quotations. ‘ “aggressive behavior towards Mister Black” in other words she totally kicked his ass, which leaded into him yelling even more and Madam Pomfrey losing it completely. James went out to make sure they didn’t kill each other and Molly was in here as well but left because she thought James wasn’t trustworthy, she was right about that. He smelled food and left, Remus had to come to break up Sirius and Lily’s argument.’ She grinned as if that was the best thing that ever happened to her.

‘Sounds like fun.’ I said.

She nodded excitedly. ‘Oh it was! You should’ve seen it, it was great. You’d have loved it.’ I’m sure I would have. Too bad I missed it.

‘Wake me up next time stuff like this happens. ‘ I told her.

‘Sure thing.’

The door was thrown open and we both turned to look at whoever just walked in. Lily skipped up to us and joined us on my already overcrowded bed. ‘What did you do to Sirius?’ I asked her. An evil smile appeared on her face.

‘Oh not much. I just send a stunning spell at him.’ She shrugged, the evil smile still on her face.

Should I care, I asked myself. I should but then again… He’d be alright. ‘And Remus?’

‘Oh he’s trying to Rennervate him.’

‘He’ll be pissed when he wakes up.’ I told her simply.

‘I know.’ She said. ‘That’s why I’ll be hiding behind you and James.’

‘You ruddy coward.’ I have no idea why I sounded so happy. I’m probably just really mean and messed up. Fun!

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So to fulfill the Patronus charm you have to hold on to a happy thought, preferably the happiest thought you can think off.

I dropped my quill and checked over my last test. It wasn’t just a regular test it was the last Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Test. But everybody is too lazy to say that so it was the last NEWT. No not the animal thing. I still couldn’t believe that this was it. My last school week, I didn’t know wetter I should be happy or sad. My mind went back to my first year. I had been so small, innocent, not insane yet. I wouldn’t say I missed those days though. I giggled as I was reminded of how angry I had gotten when Sirius stole my book. It had been quite ridiculous really. I remembered how I couldn’t stand the sight of them and now, I turned around in my seat and saw James a few seats away from me, his head on the table. He appeared to be asleep. I turned to the other side to see Remus who was just putting his quill down  and looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back before turning to Peter a few seats ahead of me, he was hitting his head against the table… well at least he’s acting like he normally does, he doesn’t have to be scared of losing any brain cells. Because what is there to lose when you have none. I turned to the last person. His beautiful grey eyes met my blue ones like they’d so many times before, and every time they did I still felt the butterflies acting up in my stomach. He gave me the heart melting smile that most people weren’t fortunate enough to even know about. I smiled back and for a second again I was lost in thought. I tried to take in every single of his features as quickly as possible. The way his grey eyes could change from cold and mysterious to warm and mischievous and even loving in less than a second. The way his lips curled at the ends when he smiled. How his eyebrows twisted slightly when he made a sarcastic or cheeky comment. The way he bit his lip when he was nervous. Even his frown when he was upset.

I forced back a tear when the realization hit. It truly was my last year here. I needed him. I needed all of them. I swallowed and forced another smile on my face, he seemed to notice how fake it was though because he furrowed his eyebrows in worry. I was happy when we were dismissed. As soon as we were outside of the classroom I pulled him in a hug. He didn’t ask any questions as I relaxed in his grip. Only when I pulled away again he looked at me questioningly. ‘What’s wrong?’ He asked me softly.

‘I guess I finally realized that it will all be over soon.’ He didn’t interrupt as I continued pouring my worries out. ‘In less than three days we will be out of here. We will be dropped into the real world. The world that has no protective boundaries like Hogwarts. A world without guardians, a world where Voldemort is at large. Sirius,’ I looked up my eyes large and scared. ‘I don’t want to live in a world where he’s at large.’ My voice broke off and I let out a sob.

‘It’ll all be okay in the end.’ He whispered as he pulled me into a hug again. I rested my head on his chest, once again trying to take in every feature. He bent down and kissed my forehead. ‘Just remember that I love you.’

‘I love you too.’ I whispered back. 'Always.'

'Always.'

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