Padfoot's Weakness - HP / Marauders time travel

24: Silent Goodbye

  //

My last day is here. Day five with Sirius.

I couldn't sleep that night. I tossed and turned and even listened to music from my muggle iPod. But no, I never slept. Maybe twenty minutes, but really, no.

I headed to the Great Hall silently, eating my food unenthusiastically. James gave me a sad look, and the others were all confused.

"What's wrong, kitten?" Sirius asked.

"Don't call me that," I muttered. "I'm just... having an off day."

"Wanna talk about it?" Sirius murmured.

"Not really." Yes, but I can't.

After breakfast, Sirius followed me back to the Gryffindor common room. "Renley, what's going on?"

"A lot," I answer honestly. "But I'll get through it."

"Alright." He pauses, then pulls me up by my arms. He yanks me up the stairs to the boys' dormitories, while I'm frowning in confusion.

"Um, what are we doing?" I ask as he pushes me to his bed and plops down.

"Chilling, duh," he chuckles. "Didn't want to go to classes anyway, so I may as well spend my time with you."

I can't resist grinning. "Thank you, Sirius."

He smiles back. "Anytime. Now, I believe it is..." He pauses dramatically. "Cuddle time!" Sirius' hands reach out and pull me into bed, making me yelp, then laugh. He curls against me, head resting atop my head. I smile softly, wrapping an arm around his waist and snuggling into his chest.

I shift around, our legs intertwining. He tightens his arms around me, and I can feel him relaxing and preparing to fall asleep. I'm just a tad bit restless, trying to get comfortable.

"Renley, babe."

"Hmm?"

"You better stop it, you wiggle worm, before I want something other than cuddling."

I blush, then snicker. "Sorry." And I shift again.

"Renley...," he growls.

I laugh again. "Sorry. Just trying to annoy you."

"It's working," he chuckles.

After a moment of just lying there, I begin slipping away. Sirius has too, judging by his light snoring. I shut my eyes, just reveling in the feeling of calmness and love, because I may never feel it again, if older Sirius no longer wants this.

//

When we woke, we both knew we'd be in trouble for skipping classes. Sirius doesn't really care because, well, he's Sirius. As for me, I don't care because I'll be gone soon...

I stood up from bed, dodging Sirius' arms. "Renleeeeey," he whines. "Cuddle time isn't over."

"It is now," I hum. "C'mon, I'm bored."

He just grunts. I keep yanking the sheets away from him, only to have him burrow into the pillows again. I sigh loudly, then finally give up and go to the bathroom.

After stealing two toothpaste rinsing cups full of water, I ambled back over to Sirius. I smirked deviously, then tipped both over right onto his face.

The teenager yelped in surprise, grabbing the pillow and quickly hiding his face. "Stopppp it! It's nap time!"

"Nuh-uh!" I growled. "Get up, I wanna do something."

"Like what?"

"I dunno..." I paused, an idea coming to mind. "I got it! Let's get food!"

"Sounds good. You go get it," Sirius mumbles, using the sheets to wipe water off his face.

"Nope!"

"But I got you a milkshake when you were on your low moment of the month," Sirius whines, lifting a pillow and blindly throwing it at me.

I groan, realizing he's right. "Alright, fine. You better be willing to eat it."

"Fuck yeah! I'm hungry," the raven-haired boy exclaims.

I roll my eyes, heading out to the kitchens.

//

After gathering food from the kitchens, I returned to Sirius' dorm. The moment I entered the room, he cheered.

"My love! You're back!" he exclaimed dramatically.

I chuckled. "Shut up and eat your sandwich."

Sirius sat up examining the sandwich one of the house elves made. "What's in it?"

"Peanut butter and jelly," I answered.

"Never had it..." He cautiously lifts the sandwich to his lips, hesitating to take a bite. "Sirius, I didn't poison it," I huffed.

"I know, but if it's bad I might throw up," the raven-haired teenager responded, causing me to wrinkle my nose at the thought.

Finally, he took a bite. After a moment of just chewing, and while wearing a blank expression, he began speaking.

"This. Tastes. Awesome!"

"Told you," I laughed. I began digging into my own sandwich, and we both finished in minutes.

"Now what?" he whined. "I'm booored!"

"I dunno," I replied honestly. "I guess we could go outside."

"Eh, sure," he agreed with a shrug.

We left his dorm, slipping past nosy portraits, goody-two-shoes students, and rogue teachers. Eventually we made it outside the castle, where a thin mist filled the area. It was slightly humid, and the grass was dewy.

We just ambled around for a moment, silent and peaceful. Until suddenly...

"Tag!" Sirius abruptly blurted. His hand tapped my arm, then he was darting away.

"Sirius!" I huffed. "I don't wanna exercise."

"Too bad! We're having fun," the teenager insisted with a laugh, running around in circles.

"Fine," I sighed.

I took off after him, careful not to slip on the damp grass. Sirius gave a squeal-- a REAL squeal-- when he noticed me approaching. He quickly turned and fled, his legs carrying him away quickly.

"Come back, dork!" I growled. He just laughed.

We continued chasing each other. After I finally managed to tag Sirius, he tagged me back easily. Then it continued, until we were both panting and low on energy.

Just as I was pursuing him one last time for a final tag, I slipped on a patch of grass. I yelped as I began rolling down a slope, right towards Sirius.

We collided, continuing to get pushed down the hill, until we finally came to a halt. When I opened my eyes, I saw our clothes were wet and green from grass stains.

"Reeeenley," Sirius growled.

"Payback," I retorted.

"For what?!"

"Being too good at tag!"

He pouted adorably, making me coo and pinch his cheeks playfully. He chuckled, doing the same to me. Eventually we got up, careful not to fall again. Then, a light drizzle began taking over.

"Yay, rain!" Sirius cheered.

I laughed. "Let's not slip again, though."

"Uh, excuse you. What do you mean AGAIN? It was YOU who slipped," he corrected. "I am completely innocent."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh yes, totally innocent."

The drizzle grew into stronger rain, freezing us to the bone. Our clothes became even more soaked than before, and I shivered.

"C'mon," Sirius murmured over the rain. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, guiding me back to Hogwarts.

Once we were close enough to the school, I halted and turned to him. He blinked in bewilderment. I leaned forward and kissed him, taking him by surprise. Almost instinctively he returned the kiss, and I felt like I was in a cliché movie.

His arms wrapped around my waist, and mine around his neck. Until finally, we separated. He grinned at me for a moment, then we continued heading back inside.

I smiled once we were inside, turning to explain. "I've always wanted something like that."

"Secretly, me too," he mumbled in embarrassment.

"THAT... is adorable."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yup."

"Nope."

"Sirius."

"Yes?"

"Shut up and take the compliment."

"...Okay."

//

"Hey, Sirius?"

We were sprawled across the couch in the common room, with other students still in classes. Sirius sat there idly, playing around on Remus' muggle phone (which Sirius stole). I was laying down with a book, eyes scanning across the words, until now.

"Hmm?" he hummed.

I bit my lip, knowing I can't tell him the truth. It would change too much, and it would make everything unstable.

"I might be moving," I finally got out.

Sirius tensed, quickly switching off the muggle phone and turning his attention to me. "What do you mean?"

I scrambled for a good lie. "My parents want to move to America."

"A-America?" he whispered.

I nodded slowly. "I don't want to leave," I murmured softly.

He was quiet for a moment, eyes unseeing. Finally, he glanced over to me with tears in his eyes.

"What am I supposed to do without you?" he asked weakly.

I frowned, tears building in my eyes as well. "I don't know." I leaned forward, grasping his hand in mine. "Sirius, I know we're gonna reunite someday, though," I insisted. If 1997 Sirius is still there, then yes, we will reunite. There's no way I'm letting go of him.

He said nothing, but a frown marred his features and his eyes were glistening. I pulled him into a tight hug, and he instantly returned it.

After a moment of just sitting there, he mutters, "When are you leaving?"

"I don't know."

It's an obvious lie, but I can't admit the truth. I have just a few hours before I leave 1977 and return to my time.

"You better spend your time with me, though," he teases, but it's weak.

I chuckle. "Duh."

We pull away. But the instant we meet eyes, we're kissing again. It's different; it's desperate. I'm leaving very soon, and even though Sirius doesn't know how soon, he's needy as well.

My arms wrap around his neck, and my fingers loosely threaded through the ends of his hair. His arms came to my waist, tugging me closer. The fireworks are still there, but this time, it's barely felt because of the explosion of love and need.

Eventually we let go. "I love you," is the first thing Sirius is saying the moment we disconnect.

Even in my state of sadness, his words make me smile. "I love you, too."

//

After classes ended, our friends hung out with us again. I told them I might be moving soon, and they had similar reactions to Sirius', but obviously not as strong.

Of course, I lied about when I'd be leaving...

Later, we hung out in Claws' cove and had fun. We swam, practiced spells, Patronuses, talked, and Sirius, James, and Peter showed off their Animagus forms. (I still hate Peter, but at least he's somewhat tolerable now.)

I flew with Claws as well, just to have some more fun and show off our latest moves. Needless to say, they were impressed. James kept whining about wanting to ride Claws, but she ended up snorting an ember of fire on him. However, Claws had taken a liking to Remus, and even let him sit atop her shoulders.

We grew tired a few hours afterwards. James had suggested a sleepover in the cove, and I had quietly thanked him. It would be easier to make an exit.

Now, we lied around a crackling fire Claws had started. Sirius sat next to me as the group started falling asleep, finishing up conversations with mumbles.

Sirius wrapped and arm around my shoulders, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "Love you," he grumbled tiredly, then leaned back into his sleeping bag. I grinned, though it began falling the moment his eyes shut.

"Love you," I mutter, tucking strands of black hair behind his ears. "I'll see you soon, Sirius."

I waited until I heard everyone's snores or silence, then glanced over to James' sleeping bag. He was already looking at me, nodding sadly.

I sneakily stood, escaping Sirius' grasp. I carefully stepped over anyone in my path, and James did the same.

I turned to Claws, who had perked up and was staring at me in question. I sighed, strolling over and rubbing her head. "I'm sorry, Claws," I whispered. "I have to go." She crooned, tongue flicking out to lick my cheek. I wrinkled my nose in disgust, but nonetheless thanked her.

James waited patiently, and after I left the cove, we began our way towards Hogwarts.

"I'm gonna miss you," James murmured as we slowly made our way to Dumbledore's office.

"I know. I'm gonna miss you and all the others as well," I sighed.

My hands were sweating, and I was trembling slightly. My heart raced near-painfully, and I found it difficult to keep walking. I wanted nothing more than to turn around and sprint back to my friends. I wanted to stay, or at least tell everyone the truth. Lily would never know I'm her daughter...

Wait.

"Dad?" I asked shakily.

He blinked in surprise, then grinned. "Yeah?"

"Can you... uh... would you mind telling Lily the truth about me?" I queried. "But only at a good time. Don't do it to influence your relationship or whatever."

"Of course, Hen," James agreed. "I'll tell her at the right time. I know she'll keep it a secret, too."

"Good."

I sigh shakily. We entered the building, and we reluctantly began ambling down the corridors, closer and closer to Dumbledore's office.

"Will you watch Sirius for me?" I mumbled. "Something tells me he'll be the worst."

"Yeah," James responded instantly. "I'll watch him. It'll be really hard not to tell him, though."

"Please don't," I sighed. "I want to tell him, but..."

"I know."

We went silent for a moment. Until finally, the gargoyles were in sight. I bit my lip, anxiously stepping towards one.

"Henrietta P," I muttered to the gargoyle. Dumbledore had changed the password for me specifically. The gargoyle sprung away, letting both of us through.

I inhale sharply as we head up the stairs, and come to a halt at Dumbledore's office door. Of course he probably knows we're standing right outside, but I find it difficult to even knock.

"It's okay, Hen," James reassured quietly. "You can do this. You can go see your other friends. You'll see older Sirius, too. He needs you."

I nodded quietly. I raised my fist, knocking on the office door.

I felt dizzy, like I'd pass out. My anxiety is skyrocketing, threatening me to push me into hyperventilation. I'm so concerned for everyone in this time. How will they live on? Will they be okay? How about Sirius? He's probably going to react the worst...

I took a deep breath, and then knocked on the door.

Seconds later, I hear Dumbledore's voice.

"Enter."

//