Positive?!

[46]

Mark:

Another school day started, I walked into the school building, students and teachers were staring at me again. It felt new and uncomfortable. It was a feeling I had never wanted to have.

They started to whisper, they didn't even bother to wait until I couldn't hear them anymore, they wanted me to hear what they said about me, how they judged me. It hurt but my face stayed emotionless.

It seemed like today wasn't much different from yesterday. But the incident with Minji during lunch time had showed me that I couldn't let the things be and that it was my task to react.

I had talked to Jackson and told him what I wanted to do. He was sceptical but said he was ok as long as I was sure. No, I wasn't sure but I knew that I had to do this before I even lost the last part of my courage.

An hour ago, I had still argued with myself because the familiar feeling of insecurity had taken place in my mind. I had ignored it and now I did what I had to do. I entered the school without wearing a hoodie.

I exposed my biggest secret which I had kept for months now. I knew that this decision would change everything from now on but I had thought about it and I knew it was the best thing I could do.

The rumors about me wouldn't have disappeared and the people would have kept on observing me and someday someone would have found out. Exposing my belly was the last way to announce my pregnancy myself.

I heard their whispers. They said I was stupid, naive and that they couldn't believe that someone like me would ever have sex. I wanted to hide somewhere far away but my pride made me walk into my classroom.

They weren't many people inside the room but all eyes were on me when I entered. I knew that it was most likely Jinyoung's death glare that stopped them from saying something. It was silent.

I looked down on the floor while I made my way to my seat next to my raven-haired friend whose gaze softened when I sat down on my chair. The other students' gazes followed me.

I felt naked without the warm fabric of a hoodie or a jacket around me. I had never taken it off. Not even at home. The light-grey shirt I was wearing gave everyone a good view of my belly.

No one except of Dr. Park and Jackson had seen it. I had always made sure to hide it and now over twenty pairs of eyes were staring at the curve under my shirt. I felt uncomfortable but I brushed it off for now.

Jackson entered the room and the others' attention left me for a moment while the blonde walked through the class and sat down on his seat two rows behind me. I turned around to him and he smiled.

Jackson and I never came together because we didn't want the people to find out that we were living in one household. At least for now. Maybe we would go to school together from now on.

The attention of the students left me again when our teacher entered the room and placed his bag on the wooden table in the front. His gaze wandered over the class and stopped when he looked at me.

I gulped and felt my hands trembling when I saw the disgust and antipathy in his eyes. He was a teacher, someone who should I should actually be able to ask for help but he judged me like everyone else.

It took all my strength to hold back my tears. I felt horrible. Of course, it was my own fault that people treated me like this. I had made the decision to show them my pregnancy and I had to take the consequences.

But no matter whose fault it was now, it hurt so much. They looked at me like I was making a huge mistake with this baby. I had heard them saying that I was destroying my life and the baby daddy's life.

I didn't want to let their comments coming closer to me because I knew they weren't worth it but they managed it to make me feel so guilty because I really thought about what I did to Jackson.

Was I really destroying his life and especially his future? He was a great swimmer and a lot of universities would want him in their teams. But would he be able to go to university if we had a baby?

One of us would have to take a part-time job and most likely not be able to go to university. I just hoped that it wouldn't be Jackson who had to do this. He had so much potential and he shouldn't waste it for me or the baby.

I knew that he had trained his whole life to go to a good university and join their swimming team. He had told me about it while we had watched a movie and talked about our plans for the future.

A single tear rolled down my cheek but I quickly brushed it away and took a deep breath. I already had enough attention and I didn't want more just because I had to start crying in class.

The cold feeling of fear and guilt ran through my veins and made me shiver. I felt guilty because of Jackson and I feared what would happen later that day. Because the real challenge was still coming.

Here in class were only about twenty students who didn't dare to say something because of Jinyoung and Jackson but I wouldn't be in class forever. I would have to go to the cafeteria later.

And there was no one who could protect me from stares or mean comments. I doubted that my friends' had any influence on the other students on our school. Especially not the older ones.

They would stare and talk about me and I was sure that some would even insult me because of my pregnancy. I was extremely afraid and honestly, I didn't know if I was able to get through this.

—

Something angsty to start the day! Good morning everyone.

The big secret is out 👀 And I hope you enjoyed it!

Thanks to those who commented on my last chapter. Most of you were right, I'm a Ravenclaw 💙

Thank you for reading 💜